Lincoln Lee (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
skepticalities) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
campfuckuvote2012-09-08 06:55 pm
skepticalities) wrote in campfuckuvote2012-09-08 06:55 pm
(no subject)
Last round! More campers!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Sakuta Ryuusei
Series: Kamen Rider Fourze
Character Age: ~18
Canon: Set at Amanogawa High School, Kamen Rider Fourze is
your typical super hero show following the titular Kamen Rider Fourze,
a space-themed hero, on his quest to defeat the monsters-of-the-week
known as Zodiarts and to become the man who will befriend everyone.
With students and teachers alike transforming into Zodiarts, it is up
to Fourze and his friends known as the Kamen Rider Club to find the
cause and save their comrades, preventing the end of the world as they
know it. Through the power of friendship, they are able to grow and to
fight; overcoming their weaknesses and forever strengthening their
bonds with each other.
Sakuta Ryuusei is an arrogant and overconfident exchange student whose
secret identity is that of the secondary rider for the show: Kamen
Rider Meteor. He proves to be fiercely loyal to those he considers
friends and will stop at nothing to do what he believes is right. He
is not the type to trust easily, but friends are very important to
him, to the point of being willing to kill -- or be killed -- in order
to save their lives. In spite of his somewhat cold exterior, with the
right people he comes off as somewhat awkward and silly. He is also a
skilled martial artist and he takes himself very seriously . . . even
when making Bruce Lee sounds as he fights.
Sample Post:
This is the last time I let someone convince me to be an errand boy.
That is, if "convincing" means "using underhanded methods to scare me
into submission." It's not like I wouldn't have done it if they'd
explained the job better before that. I prefer it when I'm told the
facts straight out. It's a bother having my time wasted instead of
being told right away that this letter has to go to the president of
the Kamen Rider Club in America, especially if this letter is going to
tell this Elizabeth Sayre information she needs to know about the
Zodiarts activity within her region. It doesn't matter. She'll get
this letter if it's the last thing I do.
What's with these directions? I know you're not an artist, but
seriously? They look like they were done by a five-year-old. Turn left
at stationary robot cow sleeping near Marcy? What's a Marcy? Ah, well,
if I look hard enough I might find something that vaguely resembles
this squiggly blob-Marcy-thing.
Huh, where did this shady-looking guy come from? Right. Hey, you! Do
you know where I can find the office of Ms. Sayre? I need to deliver a
letter to her. It's important, so don't waste my time with all that
moaning you're doing. No, I'm not here for the martial arts
demonstration. I'm trying to get this information to the
president so this place doesn't become Monster Central any faster than
it already is, if the sketchy "get out now" feeling I'm getting is any
indication. Look, just point out where this "Hurrghhhd" is on this
map. Yeah, I know the map is drawn badly but my friend drew it and he
did his best so I'm sticking with it, no matter what. Che, you can't
even point properly. Whatever, I'll just--oh, you have a name tag
under all that nasty swamp grime. You're the vice-president of the
Kamen Rider Club?
And here I thought you were useless. If you're the vice-president,
then you've got to know where your president is. Come on, speak up! I
don't have time for this, and I sure as hell don't have time to give
you a martial arts demonstration! So either tell me where she is or
I'll demonstrate on your face. Still not talking, huh? All right then,
I'll figure it out on my ow--hey, I told you I don't have time for
this, so back off already. I don't care if you're the vice-president,
just let go. I mean it; this is irritating enough without you adding
to it! Do the words "let go" not mean anything to you? I'm leaving,
and I'll give you one more chance to back off.
Okay, you asked for it! WACHOOOOOWW!
Character: Juan Borgia
Series: The Borgias (2011-2012 showtime series)
Character Age: About 20-ish
Canon: Rome in the Renaissance, awesome for set-pieces and costumes... and less if you want a church that's not corrupt and doesn't occasionally have a little murder problem. This is where The Borgias is set. The show focuses on the family of one Rodrigo Borgia, future pope and all around caring but kind of manipulative father. Among them count the broody cardinal who wants out of the church, the sister who has to deal with the loss of her childhood and needing to be politically savvy, the mother who has to deal with her estranged husband and children riding the bad decision dinosaur, and an egomaniac general who really needs to get out of his line of work.
"Lechery and debauchery are the very marks of nobility." So says Juan Borgia, and it's a good way to describe him. Prideful, lewd, one who revels in the limelight, at first he appears to be a playboy with a definite sketchy side. However he can be a much darker man when provoked, or just plain in a bad mood. The massive chip on his shoulder has led to issues when anyone questions his place as General of the papal army, and being the classist douchebag, braggart and liar that he is. Juan's a real piece of work that only a father can love... and even then sometimes he wants to throttle him.
Note: The Borgias is written by... well the person who did the Tudors, and so some of the language and grammar isn't period-appropriate.
Sample Post:
Are you deaf old man, I said wine, not water. I can ignore your poor state and the fact that this tavern is no more than a rotting wooden hut should I receive the proper libations, but it would require those libations to be delivered first. I don't care that you have built your business in the middle of this fetid swamp, that should've been thought of before you laid down the first log of wood. Were I you I would supply only the very finest of wine, for there is no sign of dancing women or other... entertainment for me to enjoy. Did you not hear me? Don't ignore me! I am Juan Borgia, duke of Gandia, Gonfaloniere of the Papal states! I am the son of the Pope of Rome, and you will not treat me as though I'm the common trash that you normally serve!
Oh did that offend you over there, you hairy ape? I fail to see how it isn't an apt comparison to all of you here. I see withered limbs and barbarians wearing animal hides, where you even let birds and filthy goats wander around as you partake of this swill. Will any of you contest this judgment, take arms against me, match your lacking skills against the one who commands the very armies of Rome? I think not, for I have brought men twice your strength to their very knees and heard their cries for forgiveness. Now barkeep, fetch me my wine so that I may take leave of this place. I've paid you well enough.
... I assure you of my age, and I've found no law before claiming that one has to be a proper man when ordering such things. The age you ask for is quite irregular, by twenty-one most have families and have made names for themselves. To say that I couldn't have even drunk at my wedding is logic that I'd expect only out of a festering skull like yours. What further proof do you need? Doesn't this crest on my armor show you well enough of my station? Do I need to divest you of your other limbs to get across my sincerity? I can you know, and no goat, no ape, no pathetic waste of a man drag me from this-
Let me back in! ...Well, clarity of water does lead to clarity of mind. Let those wretches have their drink, I wouldn't have taken it anyway. I bet it's gone sour.
Character: Alexis Thi Dang
Series: Transformers Armada
Character Age: 16
She is taken during the 10 year time gap between Armada and Energon, specifically A few years after Alexis travels to Cybertron as part of the human delegation in 2012.
At the beginning of Armada she was 11.
Canon: Transformers, Robots in Disguise! You know the drill: Giant Robots come to Earth, Kids meet said Giant Robots, and then plenty of adventures and fighting ensues. In this rendition of the Plot, Alexis is marked as the sole voice of reason among her idiot friends, and so of course is typically ignored until after the fact. Who said notto explore the cramp twisting caves of the Nebraska desert? She did, that's who! And when Giant Alien Robots appeared and tried to use them as action figures, of course it was her that yelled at them to move their butts if they want to keep them. Besides possessing the gift of common sense, she is rather intelligent and is not afraid to make use of this, though sometimes at the expense of the boys' morale. There are times she is able to get a real sense of the type of person someone is, and times in which she will brush her friends off (can you blame her though? They were being annoying and stupid again! She can't always have the patience to deal with them.)
When she isn't playing babysitter, it is with optimism and confidence that she hope that she holds on to and allows her to reach out to and connect with Starscream, and be able to trust him again after his betrayal. That trust was strong enough for her to risk going back to retrieve her good luck charm, despite being trapped in the Writhing Tentacle Infested guts of a planet sized robot. She knew she didn't have to fear, because she had faith the Decepticon of questionable motives would not allow her to be harmed. That, or she caught a sudden case of stupid from the company she keeps. Regardless, even after grieving for said Emobot a few days later, she and company manage to find themselves inside the tentacle gut again but this time help in destroying it and bringing PEACE and HAPPINESS to the GALAXY!
Then 10 years later, Transformers Energon happened (though we do not speak of that).
Sample Post:
Can anyone explain why all the squirrels seem to have a personal vendetta against me? I mean, I can sorta understand the gorillas throwing their feces at me and the... metal 'cowpies'. Sure, that's behavior more typical of chimpanzees than gorillas, but with how this place is, a little poo slinging seems almost normal.
But what in Cybertron's name is wrong with the squirrels? I can't even peek out a window without seeing one of the little rats leering at me with it's beady eyes and fluff, and forget about stepping outside! I've been covered in so many shades of glitter I've practically become a walking rainbow. At least with the gorillas I get a warning, and I don't have to worry about being pelted within walking distance of my cabin.
All that? I can deal with. What I can't deal with is Not Getting to Sleep.
Do you know how long it's been since I've gotten to have a decent rest? Three weeks. Three weeks of chittering and chattering and sounds that SQUIRRELS should not make at night- and they sure as hell shouldn't be redecorating your room with questionable images the moment you start to sleep. Images of GOOD FRIENDS who do not have that type of equipment. Nor do they possess any interest in cross species relationships. Not only would that physically maim and probably kill them, there is such a concept of hot metal, electrical burns- it just doesn't work, okay?
Just, really? None of this makes any sense- NONE. Please tell me I'm not the only one being harassed like this- I want to believe I'm not, but I'm sure If would've heard something by now if that was the case. Is there something I should know? Some kind of squirrel repellant or traps? Maybe my cabin is located on some kind of sacred squirrel burial ground? If so, tell me! Any of those would make some kind of sense, and that'll give me some kind of start to getting rid of them.
Look, I'm willing to pay you or owe you a favor, I just need to get these things either away from me or gone. It doesn't even have to be forever, just long enough for an okay nights sleep. I don't care how it's done or how many people it takes; at this point I'm even okay if it is somewhat inhumane or questionable. I've already tried lacing their nuts with rat poison, but all that did was turn them purple.
Please. I'm begging you guys! I need to sleep.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Character: Sakuta Ryuusei
Series: Kamen Rider Fourze
Character Age: ~18
Canon: Set at Amanogawa High School, Kamen Rider Fourze is
your typical super hero show following the titular Kamen Rider Fourze,
a space-themed hero, on his quest to defeat the monsters-of-the-week
known as Zodiarts and to become the man who will befriend everyone.
With students and teachers alike transforming into Zodiarts, it is up
to Fourze and his friends known as the Kamen Rider Club to find the
cause and save their comrades, preventing the end of the world as they
know it. Through the power of friendship, they are able to grow and to
fight; overcoming their weaknesses and forever strengthening their
bonds with each other.
Sakuta Ryuusei is an arrogant and overconfident exchange student whose
secret identity is that of the secondary rider for the show: Kamen
Rider Meteor. He proves to be fiercely loyal to those he considers
friends and will stop at nothing to do what he believes is right. He
is not the type to trust easily, but friends are very important to
him, to the point of being willing to kill -- or be killed -- in order
to save their lives. In spite of his somewhat cold exterior, with the
right people he comes off as somewhat awkward and silly. He is also a
skilled martial artist and he takes himself very seriously . . . even
when making Bruce Lee sounds as he fights.
Sample Post:
This is the last time I let someone convince me to be an errand boy.
That is, if "convincing" means "using underhanded methods to scare me
into submission." It's not like I wouldn't have done it if they'd
explained the job better before that. I prefer it when I'm told the
facts straight out. It's a bother having my time wasted instead of
being told right away that this letter has to go to the president of
the Kamen Rider Club in America, especially if this letter is going to
tell this Elizabeth Sayre information she needs to know about the
Zodiarts activity within her region. It doesn't matter. She'll get
this letter if it's the last thing I do.
What's with these directions? I know you're not an artist, but
seriously? They look like they were done by a five-year-old. Turn left
at stationary robot cow sleeping near Marcy? What's a Marcy? Ah, well,
if I look hard enough I might find something that vaguely resembles
this squiggly blob-Marcy-thing.
Huh, where did this shady-looking guy come from? Right. Hey, you! Do
you know where I can find the office of Ms. Sayre? I need to deliver a
letter to her. It's important, so don't waste my time with all that
moaning you're doing. No, I'm not here for the martial arts
demonstration. I'm trying to get this information to the
president so this place doesn't become Monster Central any faster than
it already is, if the sketchy "get out now" feeling I'm getting is any
indication. Look, just point out where this "Hurrghhhd" is on this
map. Yeah, I know the map is drawn badly but my friend drew it and he
did his best so I'm sticking with it, no matter what. Che, you can't
even point properly. Whatever, I'll just--oh, you have a name tag
under all that nasty swamp grime. You're the vice-president of the
Kamen Rider Club?
And here I thought you were useless. If you're the vice-president,
then you've got to know where your president is. Come on, speak up! I
don't have time for this, and I sure as hell don't have time to give
you a martial arts demonstration! So either tell me where she is or
I'll demonstrate on your face. Still not talking, huh? All right then,
I'll figure it out on my ow--hey, I told you I don't have time for
this, so back off already. I don't care if you're the vice-president,
just let go. I mean it; this is irritating enough without you adding
to it! Do the words "let go" not mean anything to you? I'm leaving,
and I'll give you one more chance to back off.
Okay, you asked for it! WACHOOOOOWW!
Poll #11648 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 43
In or out?
Character: Juan Borgia
Series: The Borgias (2011-2012 showtime series)
Character Age: About 20-ish
Canon: Rome in the Renaissance, awesome for set-pieces and costumes... and less if you want a church that's not corrupt and doesn't occasionally have a little murder problem. This is where The Borgias is set. The show focuses on the family of one Rodrigo Borgia, future pope and all around caring but kind of manipulative father. Among them count the broody cardinal who wants out of the church, the sister who has to deal with the loss of her childhood and needing to be politically savvy, the mother who has to deal with her estranged husband and children riding the bad decision dinosaur, and an egomaniac general who really needs to get out of his line of work.
"Lechery and debauchery are the very marks of nobility." So says Juan Borgia, and it's a good way to describe him. Prideful, lewd, one who revels in the limelight, at first he appears to be a playboy with a definite sketchy side. However he can be a much darker man when provoked, or just plain in a bad mood. The massive chip on his shoulder has led to issues when anyone questions his place as General of the papal army, and being the classist douchebag, braggart and liar that he is. Juan's a real piece of work that only a father can love... and even then sometimes he wants to throttle him.
Note: The Borgias is written by... well the person who did the Tudors, and so some of the language and grammar isn't period-appropriate.
Sample Post:
Are you deaf old man, I said wine, not water. I can ignore your poor state and the fact that this tavern is no more than a rotting wooden hut should I receive the proper libations, but it would require those libations to be delivered first. I don't care that you have built your business in the middle of this fetid swamp, that should've been thought of before you laid down the first log of wood. Were I you I would supply only the very finest of wine, for there is no sign of dancing women or other... entertainment for me to enjoy. Did you not hear me? Don't ignore me! I am Juan Borgia, duke of Gandia, Gonfaloniere of the Papal states! I am the son of the Pope of Rome, and you will not treat me as though I'm the common trash that you normally serve!
Oh did that offend you over there, you hairy ape? I fail to see how it isn't an apt comparison to all of you here. I see withered limbs and barbarians wearing animal hides, where you even let birds and filthy goats wander around as you partake of this swill. Will any of you contest this judgment, take arms against me, match your lacking skills against the one who commands the very armies of Rome? I think not, for I have brought men twice your strength to their very knees and heard their cries for forgiveness. Now barkeep, fetch me my wine so that I may take leave of this place. I've paid you well enough.
... I assure you of my age, and I've found no law before claiming that one has to be a proper man when ordering such things. The age you ask for is quite irregular, by twenty-one most have families and have made names for themselves. To say that I couldn't have even drunk at my wedding is logic that I'd expect only out of a festering skull like yours. What further proof do you need? Doesn't this crest on my armor show you well enough of my station? Do I need to divest you of your other limbs to get across my sincerity? I can you know, and no goat, no ape, no pathetic waste of a man drag me from this-
Let me back in! ...Well, clarity of water does lead to clarity of mind. Let those wretches have their drink, I wouldn't have taken it anyway. I bet it's gone sour.
Poll #11649 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 43
In or out?
Character: Alexis Thi Dang
Series: Transformers Armada
Character Age: 16
She is taken during the 10 year time gap between Armada and Energon, specifically A few years after Alexis travels to Cybertron as part of the human delegation in 2012.
At the beginning of Armada she was 11.
Canon: Transformers, Robots in Disguise! You know the drill: Giant Robots come to Earth, Kids meet said Giant Robots, and then plenty of adventures and fighting ensues. In this rendition of the Plot, Alexis is marked as the sole voice of reason among her idiot friends, and so of course is typically ignored until after the fact. Who said notto explore the cramp twisting caves of the Nebraska desert? She did, that's who! And when Giant Alien Robots appeared and tried to use them as action figures, of course it was her that yelled at them to move their butts if they want to keep them. Besides possessing the gift of common sense, she is rather intelligent and is not afraid to make use of this, though sometimes at the expense of the boys' morale. There are times she is able to get a real sense of the type of person someone is, and times in which she will brush her friends off (can you blame her though? They were being annoying and stupid again! She can't always have the patience to deal with them.)
When she isn't playing babysitter, it is with optimism and confidence that she hope that she holds on to and allows her to reach out to and connect with Starscream, and be able to trust him again after his betrayal. That trust was strong enough for her to risk going back to retrieve her good luck charm, despite being trapped in the Writhing Tentacle Infested guts of a planet sized robot. She knew she didn't have to fear, because she had faith the Decepticon of questionable motives would not allow her to be harmed. That, or she caught a sudden case of stupid from the company she keeps. Regardless, even after grieving for said Emobot a few days later, she and company manage to find themselves inside the tentacle gut again but this time help in destroying it and bringing PEACE and HAPPINESS to the GALAXY!
Then 10 years later, Transformers Energon happened (though we do not speak of that).
Sample Post:
Can anyone explain why all the squirrels seem to have a personal vendetta against me? I mean, I can sorta understand the gorillas throwing their feces at me and the... metal 'cowpies'. Sure, that's behavior more typical of chimpanzees than gorillas, but with how this place is, a little poo slinging seems almost normal.
But what in Cybertron's name is wrong with the squirrels? I can't even peek out a window without seeing one of the little rats leering at me with it's beady eyes and fluff, and forget about stepping outside! I've been covered in so many shades of glitter I've practically become a walking rainbow. At least with the gorillas I get a warning, and I don't have to worry about being pelted within walking distance of my cabin.
All that? I can deal with. What I can't deal with is Not Getting to Sleep.
Do you know how long it's been since I've gotten to have a decent rest? Three weeks. Three weeks of chittering and chattering and sounds that SQUIRRELS should not make at night- and they sure as hell shouldn't be redecorating your room with questionable images the moment you start to sleep. Images of GOOD FRIENDS who do not have that type of equipment. Nor do they possess any interest in cross species relationships. Not only would that physically maim and probably kill them, there is such a concept of hot metal, electrical burns- it just doesn't work, okay?
Just, really? None of this makes any sense- NONE. Please tell me I'm not the only one being harassed like this- I want to believe I'm not, but I'm sure If would've heard something by now if that was the case. Is there something I should know? Some kind of squirrel repellant or traps? Maybe my cabin is located on some kind of sacred squirrel burial ground? If so, tell me! Any of those would make some kind of sense, and that'll give me some kind of start to getting rid of them.
Look, I'm willing to pay you or owe you a favor, I just need to get these things either away from me or gone. It doesn't even have to be forever, just long enough for an okay nights sleep. I don't care how it's done or how many people it takes; at this point I'm even okay if it is somewhat inhumane or questionable. I've already tried lacing their nuts with rat poison, but all that did was turn them purple.
Please. I'm begging you guys! I need to sleep.
Poll #11650 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 41
In or out?
no subject
oh my god.
it's alexis
from my childhood.
oh my god.
OH MY GOD.
no subject
Alexis you had me at the part where we all mutually disown Transformers Energon.
no subject
no wait
you're right energon was miserable
no subject
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-09-09 02:51 am (UTC)(link)if randommoments. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEFZQlixb70)no subject
no subject
WHAT
I
I
sadafsasf
no subject
no subject
no subject
Abstain on Ryuusei because of beta and Alexis because I'm confused by all the html use? I understand they're suppose to be her emphasizing things but I don't understand why you have bolded words, italics, and one word in all caps.
no subject
no subject
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-09-09 02:43 am (UTC)(link)The abuse mostly stems from the idea that she is completely on her last threads of sanity and fed up with this place and it's tomfoolery. Three weeks without proper rest will do that to someone. I wasn't entirely sure how to convey that without her either having a short frustrated rant (which ended up being below the limit), while providing proper emphasis.
Looking at it, using the Yaoi Squirrels likely would be better used in a smaller post and make for less abuse. All the more reason to put a bit more thought into sample topics. *nod*
As for the canon point, it takes place during the predefined timeskip between Armada and Energon. According to the wiki and timeline, her being 16 would be 3 years after the trip to Cybertron in 2012. Mostly, I wanted her to look her age a bit more. ^-^;
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-09-09 02:46 am (UTC)(link)"I wasn't entirely sure how to convey that without her having a short frustrated rant (which ended up being below the limit), while providing proper emphasis."
no subject
... okay, yes, but my question wrt the timeline is less "how long is it?" and more ... Do we actually see the ten years in any form, or is it just "lol ten years later this series"?
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-09-09 03:02 am (UTC)(link)To my knowledge, there is only one flashback to the 'timeskip' period, and that was the brief clip of the characters arriving on the planet and being in awe. More or less she isn't much changed from before the timeskip personality wise, as she is rather adult minded even as a child.
no subject
no subject
The use of a lot of html honestly broke the voice up for me & took my attention away from the cohesiveness of the app.
no subject
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
all in from me!
no subject
Alexis, the canon was very confusing for me. I'm canonblind and the only thing I know about Transformers is literally the fact that they're robot aliens or something and can transform into cars. I AM THE SADDEST. But, um, yeah. It was confusing so I couldn't really get a good idea of what the canon is about, and what she actually does. The sudden bolded words and capitalized words seemed weird, too. I really didn't know what was going on in there. I got the same amount of confusion in the sample.
no subject
Everyone else in.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Ryuusei first up! You have the problem where I just didn't get a sense of him being, based on your canon section, an overwhelming douchebag with a cold exterior but a squishy heart deep inside. He was irascible, certainly, and brusque, but not the cold douchebag that I was expecting. I think honestly a large part of this is that Ryuusei is just reacting to random things. A really good example of this is your third and fourth paragraphs where he is literally reacting repeatedly to things - this makes his narrative scattered and hard to make unique because anyone would be kind of :| under those circumstances. Considering that this is half of your application, you can see why focus on reactions is working against your character being perceived as a certain way! Delivering the letter is a good app idea, but an easier way to make it work might have been to start it off with Ryuusei actually talking to the zombie. If you look at Juan's app, for example, it's very clear who his audience is and it helps a lot with keeping your app focused and showing off those traits that make you want to app this character.
At this point, I couldn't vote it in because the voice you described wasn't really shown in the app, and I wasn't sure which one was the correct one. That isn't to say that you can't play the character! And it looks like you're doing fine as it is, voting wise. But at the moment your app narrative is scattered and as a result your character sounds scattered. A tighter focus will allow his cold ruthless douchebagness shine through along with the glint of that heart of gold. I don't know if you had any canon blind betas for this app but if you didn't (and by canon blind, I mean people utterly blind to the toku genre as a whole because while they are conversant with the characterisation tropes of the genre, canon blind people really aren't), they would really help you out with this.
Alexis! I will admit to bafflement about your chosen canon point - it seems odd to pick a canon point where you have no canon at all to work with. That wasn't why I voted you out, but I was confused about that - why did you choose that point? Anyway.
Other people have covered the canon section. I actually can see your point about the different formatting indicating different things - bold tags tend to suggest a measured stress whereas italics are less measured and more emotional? That said it can be confusing, so I would probably avoid it for future attempts. What tripped me up is the actual content of the application. I'm not sure why she hasn't slept for three weeks - is there a significance to this? However, the rant (and it is a rant, I'm afraid) doesn't seem that consistent with the personality traits you describe, even obliquely, in the canon section. I would have much preferred an app that showed that Alexis is sensible, empathetic, optimistic and confident in her dealings with the various camp animals (though honestly given that Alexis's last canon point is around eleven years old, I think graphic porn is perhaps a bit too confronting, even for camp).
WOW THIS SOUNDS HORRIBLE gosh. I think that Alexis would definitely be fun in camp! I would like to see you try again if you don't make it in. If you want a beta, I'm canon blind (I used to watch the cartoon when I was a tiny person but that was a REALLY LONG TIME AGO and at best the only thing that I remember is the noise of the transformations) and drop me an email at nights.mistress[at]gmail.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-09-09 02:31 pm (UTC)(link)Ohgosh, I was rather sure the reason for not sleeping was stated, it not implied. The sounds the squirrels are making at night, and the raids on the cabin when she does sleep have kept her awake and keeping watch. Like I mentioned earlier, I should have realized early on that an encounter/experience with them wouldn't be nearly long enough. To be entirely honest, most of it is just filler to meet the 300word minimum.
As for the Canon Point, I primarily wanted to allow her to 'grow' into how old she appears. This happens to be because most of the decent and good fanart of her is when she is with Starscream, whom she usually is Shipped with. Mostly, it is my attempt to preserve my sanity at the boggling concept of an 11year old having a puppylove relationship with a Giant Robot. >.>
The only alternative I could see would be to take her from Energon, at which point she is 21 and plays a background character, and I have a difficult time wrapping my head around her personality and mannerisms then (she works for the government as a liaison, and so doesnt get to express her own feelings on a matter).
I'm not sure if that covers everything, but I've got to run. I'll check back later to see what I missed, and maybe check in with you on email. Later!
no subject
As for the reason for not sleeping, I was wondering why you chose to do that as an angle for the application. I should have been clearer on that front. I'm aware of what the IC reason is (as you point out, Alexis outlines at length why she has been awake for three weeks) but more what your motivation was to show that. What personality traits does it show of Alexis? The sample entry is a good way to show 300-400 words of how your character is so we get an impression of her and are like HELL YES I WANT TO PLAY OFF HER. For a second attempt, it might help to view the sample entry as that - 300-400 words of telling a story in Alexis' voice so that we get an impression of her as she'll be in most of her threads. Obviously it won't be everything because it's hard to hit every personality trait, but it will give us a better concept of the character!
For canon points I ... think you actually have a different option - taking Alexis as she is in the original series. From what I hear, Energon is pretty terrible and no one would blame you at all for not taking her from that point. It might be easier for you to take her as she is from the original series and just ignoring fandom's penchant for shippy fanart. Fandom occasionally does some pretty crazy things (Harry Potter fandom immediately comes to mind) and sometimes it's best to just popcorn.gif at it. It's entirely your choice, but I think taking a character from a point where she doesn't have any canon to hang your hat on is a dangerous idea.
ANYWAY. Good luck, hopefully I'll see you around for future attempts and enjoy your day!
no subject
Ryuusei I got the impression from your canon that this guy took his duties pretty seriously, so the way he seemed to write things off as a genuine waste of time in the application definitely threw me. Just as an example, he seemed to treat the misdirection about his errand as more of a personal inconvenience, and less a Serious Business Issue.
Alexis I see that you've been awesome about taking crit thus far, so I hope you won't be offended when I say that I thought your canon section had a better voice sample than your application! This is probably something you want to clean up if you reapp anyway, as a more concise canon section that focuses more on characteristics and less on history and IC asides would be a helpful thing to have. But as it now stands THAT was where I saw your smart, kind of bossy, optimistic female lead. The app itself, as Julian pointed out, just came off rant-y.
I also have to agree with what I think Marvelous was getting at... apping a character from a timepoint that isn't really explicitly explored or explained (tongue-twister!) is kind of shaky ground. Not even because her core character would necessarily have changed, since it sounds like that isn't the case, but does the audience actually get the chance to see what her life is like as a teen? If not, is there a reason to extrapolate that she's just not changing or growing as a person during this time? (STILL ONLY FOCUSED ON [X], for example). If so, I'd specifically lay that out in your canon as well.
Good luck if you have to reapp!
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-09-09 06:12 pm (UTC)(link)It is probably best that I didn't get in this round, as now I can actually figure out what is going on with her character a bit more, and be more decisive and solid on her canon point.
Until next round, there is always a bit of Audience Participation. :)
Thanks for the help!
no subject
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-09-09 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)It makes things far simpler when we all remember to be polite and that all of us are trying to help eachother.
Anon Alexis Awaaaaay~