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campfuckuvote2012-07-14 06:18 pm
skepticalities) wrote in campfuckuvote2012-07-14 06:18 pm
(no subject)
Counselors! Other batch is open! You know how we're rolling by now.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Denmark
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Looks to be in his mid-twenties.
Job: Official Beer Drinker
Axis Powers Hetalia is the story of world history… and the Axis Powers. Set in a world just like ours but with personified nations, the strip covers events from Roman elections to the Norwegian butter crisis, as told through the eyes of the various countries of the world. Of course, the strip doesn't take itself all that seriously, and most of the nations are affectionate homages to stereotypes of their people.
One of these countries is Denmark. Extremely loud and outgoing, Denmark is the self proclaimed 'older brother' of the Nordics; the 'king' of Northern Europe. Despite his grand titles, Denmark is a fairly simple guy: born a viking, he has a long and violent past that he's in modern times put aside for a more peaceful life of farming, alcohol drinking, and holding climate conferences to scold other nations for not being green enough. He loves to drink and talk, is totally at ease naked in the snow, and always has a smile on his face—as is befitting of the 'happiest nation in the world!' While he's obnoxious, overly honest, and very casual, he has a good heart, is willing to work hard, and is devoted to his family and friends.
Note: In canon, Denmark speaks in an Ibaraki dialect, which is a rough, casual way of speaking associated with farmers.
Sample Post:
Hej, all! My name's Denmark, but ya can call me Den or the King of the North, and I'm here for a really important reason! Don't get me wrong, America's a good kid even if he sleeps through my climate conferences, but if there's one thing he's always sucked at, it's drinking. Also alternative energy. And since this is America's surprisingly shitty looking house, ya guys are also American, which means ya also suck at drinking. But not anymore!
Something ya may not have known about me is that I'm the best drinker in the world. I've been doing it since yer parents hadn't even started to decay! Ya might be saying stuff like "I thought all ya had to do was drink to drink," or "Wikipedia says Moldova drinks more than ya," and to that all I can say is: Who the fuck cares about Moldova? Do ya even know where Moldova is? Because I don't. Besides, drinking makes ya cool and popular, and no one is cooler than me.
Now, the first thing yer gonna wanna do is get rid of all this Miller Lite and Pabst Blue Ribbon, because just because the goal is to end up naked in a ditch doesn't mean yer a homeless asshole who lives naked in a ditch. Lucky for ya all, when I heard about this job, I brought all the Tuborg my people could spare: twenty-six bottles! So, uh, ya guys in the back, sorry, I guess ya can drink the Miller Lite after all. If ya could pass this box around to the people not in the back—one bottle each! Hey, weren't ya listening? Ya want the Tuborg, not the American shit! Does everyone have one now? Good! Open it and give it a drink! A true Dane can open a bottle on any surface with any object, but… I guess smashing it over someone's head works too! It's fun, but it's a waste of beer, so be careful!
Next ya wanna drink the beer, like so—! It's also a good time to undo the first coupla buttons of yer shirt if ya can- what are ya looking at me like that for? Look, I'll do it first. Easy! Just because yer Americans doesn't mean ya have to be so shy about things like this. I can see yer lungs, so what's the big deal about tits? They're practically the same thing, and I think showing skin instead of organs would actually be an improvement! Look at that guy in the first row- he's definitely gotten the idea! But wow, maybe ya shouldn't look too long, because that's… really weird. No, no, ya don't gotta pull yer pants back on just because yer weird: this is a party! Once yer drunk enough, everyone looks great!
Character: Norway
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Looks to be in his 20s.
Job: Coffee Critic
Canon: Axis Powers Hetalia provides a setting that blends countries and their stereotypes into a tongue-in-cheek parody that revisits history in a more lighthearted manner. Anything goes in a series that includes England breaking down over the loss of America to Russia eating passive aggressive arrows and Korea obsessively grabbing for handfuls of breasts. And Norway isn't spared from this comedic approach, providing a humorous interpretation of the country whose fjords are what everyone pines for.
In general, Norway's a character who minces his words and expressions to the point where everything he does is saturated with the purpose of cutting someone down like a hot knife through butter. He's initially quiet and dismissive until there's something to criticize, of which he'll speak bluntly and harshly without much regard for the other person's opinion or feelings. But if bluntness were considered a second language then teasing would make him trilingual, as he enjoys making others flustered almost as much as he enjoys nature hikes or sneaking banshees into someone's closet. Overall, he's down to earth and prefers his privacy, and you'll never see him take his coffee as anything other than the black your eye will become if you so much as suggest adding a packet of sugar.
Note: Norway speaks with a Tsugaru dialect in the series, which translates to a rougher accent that many people find hard to understand.
Sample Post:
Yer coffee's shit.
I wasn't plannin' on being impressed with a camp havin' to be run by gorillas anyway, but I was assumin' ya Americans would know the difference between coffee and pisswater. 'Course, there ain't any way for ya to be as bad as America himself, unless ya try hostin' yer next meeting as some sort of zombie costume party that ends up attractin' the police 'cause ya snuck a real one in for authenticity. I'm anticipatin' that yer ready to know better since yer comin' to listen to someone who's got enough sense to share, so I'm tellin' ya now that yer completely incapable of independently fixing yer mistakes. Yer ancestors thanked me for givin' 'em Minnesota, so ya can thank me again when I make ya realize that the time ya wasted drinkin' yer shit coffee could've been used to breathe and finally some oxygen in yer head.
Since this is apparently a hard concept for all of ya to grasp I'll be doin' ya the favor of makin' it easier by usin' comparisons to help ya understand. So say yer coffee's the equivalent of IKEA, 'cause all yer doin' either way is settin' yourself up for disappointment. Going for the cheap stuff is fine for immediate gratification, but one moment yer chair's leanin' one way and the next yer crashin' to the floor and regrettin' that yer standards are somehow lower than the carpet you're layin' on. But ya'll get up and buy the same thing anyway 'cause ya think ya've got no other options to choose from. Well, I'm tellin' ya that ya don't have to settle with sittin' on yer shitty IKEA chair, just like how ya don't have to settle with drinkin' the toilet water they serve ya at the mess hall.
So the best way of remedyin' this problem is complainin' to the higher ups. I'll be passin' out a petition that'll be a requirement to sign before ya leave, 'cause even if ya don't care I ain't takin' the fall for yer bad decisions. In fact, I'll be sendin' another list around for those who prefer optin' out so I've got a headcount on who's surrenderin' their share. This includes those who plan on muddlin' up the flavor by usin' cream and sugar-both real and the fake stuff ya happen to love so much here-'cause in that case ya might as well stick with the coffee yer receivin' now since ya can't ruin it any more than it already has been.
And since I know that'll be all of ya, ya all might as well just sign both and get out of my sight.
Character name: Julio Esteban Richter (Rictor)
Series: X-Factor
Age: 26
Job: Camp Babysitter
Canon: X-Factor Investigations, hard-boiled noir detective agency. Staffed by only the most competent of dicks, the XF team doggedly serves the common man to right wrongs, crack nearly impossible cases, and get the girl--day in, day out. At least, that’s how Jamie Madrox would like to view his little operation. In reality, they’re just an unlikely band of mutants turned detectives that would rather leave the grand-standing and world saving to the X-Men.Their cases usually focus on mutant affairs that other avenues can’t or won’t handle. Once they’re on the job, they’ll do their damnedest to resolve matters quickly, efficiently, and with as much property damage as can be reasonably expected. All for a nominal fee, of course.
Rictor is a mutant turned ex-mutant turned mutant again. Confused? Just accept it and carry on about your day. His powers are the biggest of deals, as far as he’s concerned. See, he can make the earth shake like he’s a walking fault line, and apparently has a zen-like oneness with the planet as a whole. Without the ability do that, he was sort of a useless wreck--relegating himself to desk duty, staying abreast of the latest lolcat meme, and harboring an active death wish. Now that he’s got them back, though, he’s once again a productive member of society. Well, as productive as a one-man demolition crew can be. Even with that re-powered pep in his step, he’s still kind of a surly jerk. He can be as friendly and personable as the next guy, no doubt, but he has always been a fan of the moodswing. That all stems from his inability to properly deal with anything in the realm of expressing ~feelings~, instead relying on the tried and true methods of sarcasm and/or getting all buttmad.
Sample Entry:
Are you serious? When I agreed to come down here for a case, nobody said anything about swamps and a squid. My yearly quota on giant tentacle monsters? Filled, in case anybody was wondering. The zombies are a nice touch, though. Bet they look great in the brochure, too. Yeah, you know, we’ve got a bit of an undead problem, but we’ll try real hard to not let your offspring get mauled!
Speaking of, I especially did not sign up to deal with somebody else’s kids. I’m going to assume you do actually have some of those here, right? Because if this is one of those “animals are people, too” kinds of places, I’m thinking you might have better luck kidnapping some guys from an aviary. By the way, Toucan Sam? Running commentary is completely not necessary. Nobody even quotes that anymore. Everyone, including Milhouse, knows he’s not a meme. Okay. I should not have even justified that with a response. Yes, I know I didn’t have to cut you off. I’m done.
Seriously, X-Factor Investigations? Detectives, not a temp agency. You need summer workers, it can’t be that hard to find some teenagers with nothing better to do. Let ‘em watch the little tykes and try to send the kids all home to the right parents before school starts back up. On that note, don’t let anybody drown in the lake while you’re at it. Look, all I’m saying is that death curses and gratuitous yet creative bloodshed of the common absentminded teen protagonist really only works in the movies.
But I shoulda known that Sayre broad was up to no good. “Suspicious summer camp,” she said. “Please send help,” she said. Yeah, I can totally help you level this death-trap; hell, I’ll even volunteer. But if you’re looking for anything else? So not my problem, lady.
Character: Alyssa Zaidelle
Series: Final Fantasy XIII-2
Character Age: 27
Job: Professional Assistant
Canon: Ten years ago, Cocoon and Gran Pulse were saved by six heroes who decided to fight against fate by abandoning their mission to destroy the world. In the end, three of these heroes sacrificed themselves in order to ensure the safety of the two worlds, and their legacy has given hope to all. Since then, a scientific expedition team known as the Academy has worked tirelessly to build toward a better future for humanity, and to make sure that the sacrifices made on that day were not in vain.
Alyssa Zaidelle is a spunky young woman whose smarts and research skills allowed her to become Academy director Hope Estheim’s trusted assistant. Sure, she may have a bit of an overdramatic flair sometimes, and she can be sort of overbearing, but her energy and eagerness to help is always welcomed by her friends and colleagues. However, there’s more to her than she lets on—her outward upbeat attitude masks a slightly cynical side and bouts of anxiety, along with some deep-seated guilt. While she does care about the people she’s close to, her main focus is always herself. Her own self-preservation is ultimately the most important thing to her… even if it means screwing others over in the process.
Sample Post:
Hello there, campers! My name is Alyssa Zaidelle. Nice to meet all of you! I’m here because I’ve been hired to be your new Professional Assistant. I know that’s just a little vague, but that just gives me a chance to show how flexible I am! That’s right—while I’m here, I’ll be glad to help you out in any way I can, and luckily for you all, being an assistant is what I do best! Aside from doing research, that is, but that’s not exactly my main priority right now. At least, not with my usual field… but I’m sure you guys would be bored to death if I tried to explain any of that to you, and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for any accidental zombification! I’m pretty sure we have enough around here as it is.
Huh? What’s that? You’re scared the Director might not approve of what you might ask me to give you a hand with? Oh, you don’t have to worry about that! Tell you what, I’ll let you in on a little secret—just between you and me, there’s only one Director I answer to unconditionally, and Miss Elizabeth Sayre sure isn’t him. So go ahead, let me know pressing task you have on your mind for me! … As long as it’s within reason, of course. I can’t let you just try to coerce me into something downright reckless. Not only would that be awfully dangerous, but that would just be wrong of me to agree, now wouldn’t it? It’d spell disaster for me—and for all of us! Now… how about you, with the cute little pigtails? Is there anything you might need my assistance with?
Oh, so that’s why you were worried about the Director finding out what you were up to… I knew someone was going to ask about the barrier sooner or later. Unfortunately, I can’t do anything about that. Believe me, if I knew how to get out of this place, I would have done it myself ages ago. We all want what we can’t have, huh? And to think that barrier both traps us in here and protects us from whatever’s lurking right out there… it’s awful, isn’t it? It makes you wonder just why things turn out like this at all. What have we ever done to deserve something like this? But don’t be so down—I’ll definitely be looking into whatever I can do about it on the side, I promise. I did tell you I was great at helping, didn’t I? You don’t get a reputation like mine without being able to back it up, you know! And hey, even if we don’t succeed in figuring out how to get past it… well, it’ll be a long time before that thing gives out; it won’t affect most of us in the long run. That’s something, right? Even a little bit of hope can go a long way.
—Oh, gosh, that reminds me! I got so caught up in all that that I almost forgot I have some quick business to attend to. If you ever need an extra hand with something, just give me a call! It’s what I’m here for, after all. I’ll most likely be in the labs if you’re looking for me in person. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to locate a certain somebody before he goes and takes off without me again. It happens a lot more often than you might think. Maybe I should look into hiring an assistant of my own sometime!
Name: Oohara Jou (Jou is his given name)
Canon: Choujuu Sentai Liveman
Age: 45
Job: Runaway baby carriage rescuer
Canon: Friends, why would you sell your souls to the devil? Liveman starts with a bang. Three students shoot two of their classmates dead, thereby demonstrating their new allegiance to Volt, an evil group trying to take over the world. Another three classmates continue their work on the Liveman suits in memoriam for their dead friends, and they become the Liveman team. They have to learn to fight their ex-friends and the rest of Volt, while not losing themselves to vengeance and hate.
Jou is the Liveman team’s Yellow Lion. He’s a goodhearted, energetic person who definitely wasn’t top of his class, but he knows how to work hard and is now an accomplished scientist. He will help anyone; it doesn’t matter what that person's done in the past. Jou watches people closely to save them from evil influences, and will do what he can to rescue anyone who’s already fallen. He loves meeting people and believes that connections between people are essential. He is an optimistic, happy person who has been hurt quite badly, but is determined not to let that hurt twist him and stop him from reaching out to people.
Note: Liveman is set in 1988. Oohara Jou reappears in an episode of Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger in 2011, where he gives Liveman's approval and the use of their grand power to the Gokaiger team. Jou is being taken from after this episode.
Sample:
Hey, good to see you again, Mr Gorilla! Take a seat, let me see your adorable baby. So cute. No ill effects from hurtling down that stairway in her pram, I see. I love how you’ve plaited her facial hair. Look, when I got the job to catch baby carriages and run the lab here at Camp Find Ur Dreams I wasn’t sure about it when I first arrived. The lab itself took some work to get into shape. So much mess, so much cleaning to do! I don’t think anyone’d cleaned in here for months. I had to requisition a whole batch of new equipment from stores, which all arrived in boxes reading SCHROEDINGER’S SUPPLIES, with no other labels. Some of the boxes had test tubes and centrifuge parts, some had candy, and one had a really pissed off cat, but I didn’t know until I opened them.
But there have been pluses about being here, too. I didn’t mind the things living inside the test tubes so much. Some of them have become friends! I’ve met many great people, of many different species, and I feel like I’ve been able to do some good here and there, to help others like I’ve been helped. Oh, sorry. You don’t need to know about my issues, though. You need to know what I found out about your friends.
Well. It’s not great, but it’s not terrible. Don't give up, whatever you do. There's always hope. Always something you can do. I had issues at your age, as well, with my friends heading down the wrong path. They betrayed me and my team, in a terrible way. Basically, if your friends want to beat their chests and drag blonde women up buildings, you can't make their decisions for them. I know it’s hard. But biological urges can be incredibly hard to fight.
Maybe you can't save them. But maybe you can still stop them, even if talking won't work. You can save their souls. Just keep trying, okay? What you do matters, even if you don’t get the result you want.
You shouldn’t be stupid about it, that’s right, son. Towards the end, me and my team? One of our friends pretended to convert back. He pretended to need our help. So, in spite of everything he’d done, we went out to protect him, to help him. He betrayed us, and it hurt, but it was the right thing to do anyway. Hold out your hand, but protect yourself, too. Just keep fighting. You may not succeed, but trying matters. Rescue the blonde women, and work on your friends. I’ll help.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Character: Denmark
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Looks to be in his mid-twenties.
Job: Official Beer Drinker
Axis Powers Hetalia is the story of world history… and the Axis Powers. Set in a world just like ours but with personified nations, the strip covers events from Roman elections to the Norwegian butter crisis, as told through the eyes of the various countries of the world. Of course, the strip doesn't take itself all that seriously, and most of the nations are affectionate homages to stereotypes of their people.
One of these countries is Denmark. Extremely loud and outgoing, Denmark is the self proclaimed 'older brother' of the Nordics; the 'king' of Northern Europe. Despite his grand titles, Denmark is a fairly simple guy: born a viking, he has a long and violent past that he's in modern times put aside for a more peaceful life of farming, alcohol drinking, and holding climate conferences to scold other nations for not being green enough. He loves to drink and talk, is totally at ease naked in the snow, and always has a smile on his face—as is befitting of the 'happiest nation in the world!' While he's obnoxious, overly honest, and very casual, he has a good heart, is willing to work hard, and is devoted to his family and friends.
Note: In canon, Denmark speaks in an Ibaraki dialect, which is a rough, casual way of speaking associated with farmers.
Sample Post:
Hej, all! My name's Denmark, but ya can call me Den or the King of the North, and I'm here for a really important reason! Don't get me wrong, America's a good kid even if he sleeps through my climate conferences, but if there's one thing he's always sucked at, it's drinking. Also alternative energy. And since this is America's surprisingly shitty looking house, ya guys are also American, which means ya also suck at drinking. But not anymore!
Something ya may not have known about me is that I'm the best drinker in the world. I've been doing it since yer parents hadn't even started to decay! Ya might be saying stuff like "I thought all ya had to do was drink to drink," or "Wikipedia says Moldova drinks more than ya," and to that all I can say is: Who the fuck cares about Moldova? Do ya even know where Moldova is? Because I don't. Besides, drinking makes ya cool and popular, and no one is cooler than me.
Now, the first thing yer gonna wanna do is get rid of all this Miller Lite and Pabst Blue Ribbon, because just because the goal is to end up naked in a ditch doesn't mean yer a homeless asshole who lives naked in a ditch. Lucky for ya all, when I heard about this job, I brought all the Tuborg my people could spare: twenty-six bottles! So, uh, ya guys in the back, sorry, I guess ya can drink the Miller Lite after all. If ya could pass this box around to the people not in the back—one bottle each! Hey, weren't ya listening? Ya want the Tuborg, not the American shit! Does everyone have one now? Good! Open it and give it a drink! A true Dane can open a bottle on any surface with any object, but… I guess smashing it over someone's head works too! It's fun, but it's a waste of beer, so be careful!
Next ya wanna drink the beer, like so—! It's also a good time to undo the first coupla buttons of yer shirt if ya can- what are ya looking at me like that for? Look, I'll do it first. Easy! Just because yer Americans doesn't mean ya have to be so shy about things like this. I can see yer lungs, so what's the big deal about tits? They're practically the same thing, and I think showing skin instead of organs would actually be an improvement! Look at that guy in the first row- he's definitely gotten the idea! But wow, maybe ya shouldn't look too long, because that's… really weird. No, no, ya don't gotta pull yer pants back on just because yer weird: this is a party! Once yer drunk enough, everyone looks great!
Poll #11146 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 46
In or out?
Character: Norway
Series: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character Age: Looks to be in his 20s.
Job: Coffee Critic
Canon: Axis Powers Hetalia provides a setting that blends countries and their stereotypes into a tongue-in-cheek parody that revisits history in a more lighthearted manner. Anything goes in a series that includes England breaking down over the loss of America to Russia eating passive aggressive arrows and Korea obsessively grabbing for handfuls of breasts. And Norway isn't spared from this comedic approach, providing a humorous interpretation of the country whose fjords are what everyone pines for.
In general, Norway's a character who minces his words and expressions to the point where everything he does is saturated with the purpose of cutting someone down like a hot knife through butter. He's initially quiet and dismissive until there's something to criticize, of which he'll speak bluntly and harshly without much regard for the other person's opinion or feelings. But if bluntness were considered a second language then teasing would make him trilingual, as he enjoys making others flustered almost as much as he enjoys nature hikes or sneaking banshees into someone's closet. Overall, he's down to earth and prefers his privacy, and you'll never see him take his coffee as anything other than the black your eye will become if you so much as suggest adding a packet of sugar.
Note: Norway speaks with a Tsugaru dialect in the series, which translates to a rougher accent that many people find hard to understand.
Sample Post:
Yer coffee's shit.
I wasn't plannin' on being impressed with a camp havin' to be run by gorillas anyway, but I was assumin' ya Americans would know the difference between coffee and pisswater. 'Course, there ain't any way for ya to be as bad as America himself, unless ya try hostin' yer next meeting as some sort of zombie costume party that ends up attractin' the police 'cause ya snuck a real one in for authenticity. I'm anticipatin' that yer ready to know better since yer comin' to listen to someone who's got enough sense to share, so I'm tellin' ya now that yer completely incapable of independently fixing yer mistakes. Yer ancestors thanked me for givin' 'em Minnesota, so ya can thank me again when I make ya realize that the time ya wasted drinkin' yer shit coffee could've been used to breathe and finally some oxygen in yer head.
Since this is apparently a hard concept for all of ya to grasp I'll be doin' ya the favor of makin' it easier by usin' comparisons to help ya understand. So say yer coffee's the equivalent of IKEA, 'cause all yer doin' either way is settin' yourself up for disappointment. Going for the cheap stuff is fine for immediate gratification, but one moment yer chair's leanin' one way and the next yer crashin' to the floor and regrettin' that yer standards are somehow lower than the carpet you're layin' on. But ya'll get up and buy the same thing anyway 'cause ya think ya've got no other options to choose from. Well, I'm tellin' ya that ya don't have to settle with sittin' on yer shitty IKEA chair, just like how ya don't have to settle with drinkin' the toilet water they serve ya at the mess hall.
So the best way of remedyin' this problem is complainin' to the higher ups. I'll be passin' out a petition that'll be a requirement to sign before ya leave, 'cause even if ya don't care I ain't takin' the fall for yer bad decisions. In fact, I'll be sendin' another list around for those who prefer optin' out so I've got a headcount on who's surrenderin' their share. This includes those who plan on muddlin' up the flavor by usin' cream and sugar-both real and the fake stuff ya happen to love so much here-'cause in that case ya might as well stick with the coffee yer receivin' now since ya can't ruin it any more than it already has been.
And since I know that'll be all of ya, ya all might as well just sign both and get out of my sight.
Poll #11147 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 46
In or out?
Character name: Julio Esteban Richter (Rictor)
Series: X-Factor
Age: 26
Job: Camp Babysitter
Canon: X-Factor Investigations, hard-boiled noir detective agency. Staffed by only the most competent of dicks, the XF team doggedly serves the common man to right wrongs, crack nearly impossible cases, and get the girl--day in, day out. At least, that’s how Jamie Madrox would like to view his little operation. In reality, they’re just an unlikely band of mutants turned detectives that would rather leave the grand-standing and world saving to the X-Men.Their cases usually focus on mutant affairs that other avenues can’t or won’t handle. Once they’re on the job, they’ll do their damnedest to resolve matters quickly, efficiently, and with as much property damage as can be reasonably expected. All for a nominal fee, of course.
Rictor is a mutant turned ex-mutant turned mutant again. Confused? Just accept it and carry on about your day. His powers are the biggest of deals, as far as he’s concerned. See, he can make the earth shake like he’s a walking fault line, and apparently has a zen-like oneness with the planet as a whole. Without the ability do that, he was sort of a useless wreck--relegating himself to desk duty, staying abreast of the latest lolcat meme, and harboring an active death wish. Now that he’s got them back, though, he’s once again a productive member of society. Well, as productive as a one-man demolition crew can be. Even with that re-powered pep in his step, he’s still kind of a surly jerk. He can be as friendly and personable as the next guy, no doubt, but he has always been a fan of the moodswing. That all stems from his inability to properly deal with anything in the realm of expressing ~feelings~, instead relying on the tried and true methods of sarcasm and/or getting all buttmad.
Sample Entry:
Are you serious? When I agreed to come down here for a case, nobody said anything about swamps and a squid. My yearly quota on giant tentacle monsters? Filled, in case anybody was wondering. The zombies are a nice touch, though. Bet they look great in the brochure, too. Yeah, you know, we’ve got a bit of an undead problem, but we’ll try real hard to not let your offspring get mauled!
Speaking of, I especially did not sign up to deal with somebody else’s kids. I’m going to assume you do actually have some of those here, right? Because if this is one of those “animals are people, too” kinds of places, I’m thinking you might have better luck kidnapping some guys from an aviary. By the way, Toucan Sam? Running commentary is completely not necessary. Nobody even quotes that anymore. Everyone, including Milhouse, knows he’s not a meme. Okay. I should not have even justified that with a response. Yes, I know I didn’t have to cut you off. I’m done.
Seriously, X-Factor Investigations? Detectives, not a temp agency. You need summer workers, it can’t be that hard to find some teenagers with nothing better to do. Let ‘em watch the little tykes and try to send the kids all home to the right parents before school starts back up. On that note, don’t let anybody drown in the lake while you’re at it. Look, all I’m saying is that death curses and gratuitous yet creative bloodshed of the common absentminded teen protagonist really only works in the movies.
But I shoulda known that Sayre broad was up to no good. “Suspicious summer camp,” she said. “Please send help,” she said. Yeah, I can totally help you level this death-trap; hell, I’ll even volunteer. But if you’re looking for anything else? So not my problem, lady.
Poll #11148 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 43
In or out?
Character: Alyssa Zaidelle
Series: Final Fantasy XIII-2
Character Age: 27
Job: Professional Assistant
Canon: Ten years ago, Cocoon and Gran Pulse were saved by six heroes who decided to fight against fate by abandoning their mission to destroy the world. In the end, three of these heroes sacrificed themselves in order to ensure the safety of the two worlds, and their legacy has given hope to all. Since then, a scientific expedition team known as the Academy has worked tirelessly to build toward a better future for humanity, and to make sure that the sacrifices made on that day were not in vain.
Alyssa Zaidelle is a spunky young woman whose smarts and research skills allowed her to become Academy director Hope Estheim’s trusted assistant. Sure, she may have a bit of an overdramatic flair sometimes, and she can be sort of overbearing, but her energy and eagerness to help is always welcomed by her friends and colleagues. However, there’s more to her than she lets on—her outward upbeat attitude masks a slightly cynical side and bouts of anxiety, along with some deep-seated guilt. While she does care about the people she’s close to, her main focus is always herself. Her own self-preservation is ultimately the most important thing to her… even if it means screwing others over in the process.
Sample Post:
Hello there, campers! My name is Alyssa Zaidelle. Nice to meet all of you! I’m here because I’ve been hired to be your new Professional Assistant. I know that’s just a little vague, but that just gives me a chance to show how flexible I am! That’s right—while I’m here, I’ll be glad to help you out in any way I can, and luckily for you all, being an assistant is what I do best! Aside from doing research, that is, but that’s not exactly my main priority right now. At least, not with my usual field… but I’m sure you guys would be bored to death if I tried to explain any of that to you, and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for any accidental zombification! I’m pretty sure we have enough around here as it is.
Huh? What’s that? You’re scared the Director might not approve of what you might ask me to give you a hand with? Oh, you don’t have to worry about that! Tell you what, I’ll let you in on a little secret—just between you and me, there’s only one Director I answer to unconditionally, and Miss Elizabeth Sayre sure isn’t him. So go ahead, let me know pressing task you have on your mind for me! … As long as it’s within reason, of course. I can’t let you just try to coerce me into something downright reckless. Not only would that be awfully dangerous, but that would just be wrong of me to agree, now wouldn’t it? It’d spell disaster for me—and for all of us! Now… how about you, with the cute little pigtails? Is there anything you might need my assistance with?
Oh, so that’s why you were worried about the Director finding out what you were up to… I knew someone was going to ask about the barrier sooner or later. Unfortunately, I can’t do anything about that. Believe me, if I knew how to get out of this place, I would have done it myself ages ago. We all want what we can’t have, huh? And to think that barrier both traps us in here and protects us from whatever’s lurking right out there… it’s awful, isn’t it? It makes you wonder just why things turn out like this at all. What have we ever done to deserve something like this? But don’t be so down—I’ll definitely be looking into whatever I can do about it on the side, I promise. I did tell you I was great at helping, didn’t I? You don’t get a reputation like mine without being able to back it up, you know! And hey, even if we don’t succeed in figuring out how to get past it… well, it’ll be a long time before that thing gives out; it won’t affect most of us in the long run. That’s something, right? Even a little bit of hope can go a long way.
—Oh, gosh, that reminds me! I got so caught up in all that that I almost forgot I have some quick business to attend to. If you ever need an extra hand with something, just give me a call! It’s what I’m here for, after all. I’ll most likely be in the labs if you’re looking for me in person. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to locate a certain somebody before he goes and takes off without me again. It happens a lot more often than you might think. Maybe I should look into hiring an assistant of my own sometime!
Poll #11149 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 44
In or out?
Name: Oohara Jou (Jou is his given name)
Canon: Choujuu Sentai Liveman
Age: 45
Job: Runaway baby carriage rescuer
Canon: Friends, why would you sell your souls to the devil? Liveman starts with a bang. Three students shoot two of their classmates dead, thereby demonstrating their new allegiance to Volt, an evil group trying to take over the world. Another three classmates continue their work on the Liveman suits in memoriam for their dead friends, and they become the Liveman team. They have to learn to fight their ex-friends and the rest of Volt, while not losing themselves to vengeance and hate.
Jou is the Liveman team’s Yellow Lion. He’s a goodhearted, energetic person who definitely wasn’t top of his class, but he knows how to work hard and is now an accomplished scientist. He will help anyone; it doesn’t matter what that person's done in the past. Jou watches people closely to save them from evil influences, and will do what he can to rescue anyone who’s already fallen. He loves meeting people and believes that connections between people are essential. He is an optimistic, happy person who has been hurt quite badly, but is determined not to let that hurt twist him and stop him from reaching out to people.
Note: Liveman is set in 1988. Oohara Jou reappears in an episode of Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger in 2011, where he gives Liveman's approval and the use of their grand power to the Gokaiger team. Jou is being taken from after this episode.
Sample:
Hey, good to see you again, Mr Gorilla! Take a seat, let me see your adorable baby. So cute. No ill effects from hurtling down that stairway in her pram, I see. I love how you’ve plaited her facial hair. Look, when I got the job to catch baby carriages and run the lab here at Camp Find Ur Dreams I wasn’t sure about it when I first arrived. The lab itself took some work to get into shape. So much mess, so much cleaning to do! I don’t think anyone’d cleaned in here for months. I had to requisition a whole batch of new equipment from stores, which all arrived in boxes reading SCHROEDINGER’S SUPPLIES, with no other labels. Some of the boxes had test tubes and centrifuge parts, some had candy, and one had a really pissed off cat, but I didn’t know until I opened them.
But there have been pluses about being here, too. I didn’t mind the things living inside the test tubes so much. Some of them have become friends! I’ve met many great people, of many different species, and I feel like I’ve been able to do some good here and there, to help others like I’ve been helped. Oh, sorry. You don’t need to know about my issues, though. You need to know what I found out about your friends.
Well. It’s not great, but it’s not terrible. Don't give up, whatever you do. There's always hope. Always something you can do. I had issues at your age, as well, with my friends heading down the wrong path. They betrayed me and my team, in a terrible way. Basically, if your friends want to beat their chests and drag blonde women up buildings, you can't make their decisions for them. I know it’s hard. But biological urges can be incredibly hard to fight.
Maybe you can't save them. But maybe you can still stop them, even if talking won't work. You can save their souls. Just keep trying, okay? What you do matters, even if you don’t get the result you want.
You shouldn’t be stupid about it, that’s right, son. Towards the end, me and my team? One of our friends pretended to convert back. He pretended to need our help. So, in spite of everything he’d done, we went out to protect him, to help him. He betrayed us, and it hurt, but it was the right thing to do anyway. Hold out your hand, but protect yourself, too. Just keep fighting. You may not succeed, but trying matters. Rescue the blonde women, and work on your friends. I’ll help.
Poll #11150 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 42
In or out?
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no longer aloneeeee
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Denmark my axe buddy, i will fight you for the title of happiest country in the world
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i guess this is what being ninjaed feels like
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I AM SURPRISED
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HOPECHANS WHERE ARE YOU
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(all in)
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yesssssss
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SURPRISE
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norway apper
(Anonymous) 2012-07-15 01:38 am (UTC)(link)Re: norway apper
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get in here babes ♥
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ABSTAIN on Jou. I've never seen Liveman and I've only seen bits and pieces of Gokaiger but I'm concerned about where you're taking him from. From what I understand, he only appeared for one episode. Given what a huge timeskip it is between the end of his series and then the episode, is there enough canon to play him if he presumably changed a lot during those decades?
Jou apper here
(Anonymous) 2012-07-15 02:04 am (UTC)(link)My headcanon for him is based very firmly on Liveman ---> Gokaiger, so I haven't done anything wild and wacky with him. At the end of Liveman he's got very good reasons / a canonical basis to go on and become a scientist, and to stick around his old school to keep an eye on the students, so I've based him on that. That's where he's at in his Gokaiger episode. His appearance in Gokaiger was very much in character with where he was going at the time of the Liveman finale.
I completely understand you abstaining. Just wanted to let you know I've thought about that and have talked it through with the mods.
Re: Jou apper here
Re: Jou apper here
(Anonymous) 2012-07-15 03:26 am (UTC)(link)no subject
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Jou apper
(Anonymous) 2012-07-15 03:24 am (UTC)(link)(the mpreg episode is epic)
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also holy crap I didn't even know people rp alyssa ahhh
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