Lincoln Lee (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
skepticalities) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
campfuckuvote2012-01-28 06:09 am
skepticalities) wrote in campfuckuvote2012-01-28 06:09 am
(no subject)
Apps are now closed, so here's the first camper batch! We'll have an announcement on the lotteries sooooon, but I would strongly encourage everyone to vote. ♥
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Paul Roberts
Series: The Fades
Character Age: 17
Canon: The world is split in two: the world of the living and the world of the dead. Most humans are unaware of the second world, which is occupied by dead people called Fades. In the past, Fades were unable to touch or communicate with the other side; recently, they’ve thrown the balance of life and death into chaos by finding a way to live again. Their method is to eat human flesh. The only ones who stand between them and their potentially apocalyptic actions are special humans called Angelics, who have been granted powers. The most significant of them is the newcomer, Paul, who they believe to be their savior.
But rather than thinking himself a savior, Paul has always thought of himself as a geek, which is an accurate enough label. Most of his strengths lie in science fiction trivia rather than socializing with others. Oftentimes, Paul is usually left on his own (sometimes vocalized) trains of thoughts instead of worrying about the outside world—even if his best friend is standing right there. Indeed, he can ramble on in meandering ways, and his lack of consideration for others reveals his selfish side. When actually participating in a two-sided conversation, Paul comes off as stilted, awkward, and critical to top it off—with the last part pushed to the limit when he’s in a bad mood. However, Paul does have his heart in the right place, and he makes a point of taking after superheroes in order to help people. Even if being a savior is overwhelming, others can count on him to do the right thing. It might frighten him and he might hesitate, but he’ll always run toward a problem rather than away from it. Just let him find his courage first.
Note: Paul is taken from the end of 1x5.
Sample Post:
Over a month ago, a hoard of zombies standing before me in rapt attention would have been a lot more unsettling. But still, this is much closer to what I had originally expected from an encounter with an army of undead; the last one turned out to be far more organized about it. Of course, I thought I'd be hiding away in a bustling shopping centre when it happened. You see, shopping centres have a good variety of supplies and they’re excellent at locking up tight to keep people out. Even normal people have actually seen these films, so they’d agree with me that that’s the place to go. But here’s the catch. The owners aren’t gonna let anyone in who wasn’t there in the first place, ’cause they’ve seen the films, too. Anyone new could be an unknown hazard. So, what you’ve gotta do is, if there are signs of a zombie attack, you go to the mall and wait it out. Hopefully, the real military’s actually competent enough to deal with it.
Though ... I guess it’s too late for all of you. Even if you’re special zombies, good at behaving and keeping a hold of yourself ... except when you lose the limbs to do so ... there’s really no changing what’s happened. You’re the ones who’d be stuck outside the shopping centre, anyway, banging yourselves bloody while everyone inside eats cheese and pretzels. But that’s why I’ve been asked here. According to your Director, I’m meant to help you come to terms with your circumstances. A proper meal won’t give you the infamy that you’re looking for.
But here’s the thing, none of you are very intimidating, and nothing's going to change that. There’s no reason for any of them to listen to you. And, actually, that’s something I understand. We have that in common. I was ... am ... I am a loser, which meant I was invisible unless someone needed a punching bag. You understand, right? So, anyway, that’s what they think you are. Only none of you really chose to be this way the way I did when I dissected the nonexistent character motivations of Cobb’s team in Inception; it could have been less obvious that they were mere constructs of his psyche. Anyway, now you’re stuck here against your will in what’s essentially a typical quarantine zone with a few extra perks. And for the most part, the people who aren’t like you are living very peacefully, and you’re all ... well, every day you’re shuffling, at least. What else can you do?
The only thing I can think of is you redeeming yourselves by helping the others escape. They can’t give you their brains anyway. Freeing them wouldn’t help you much, but there’s not much to be said for that. Unless you decide to suddenly become ravenous and infectious—oh don’t look excited. I wasn’t serious, and you couldn't pull it off anyway. But once you start working, I’d like to have a word with the Director about the naming scheme here. I’m not saying Camp Crystal Lake was particularly creative, but she isn’t even trying. It might liven up the place a bit. Well, except for all of you.
Character: Anna Roberts
Series: The Fades
Character Age: 17
Canon: When a person dies, they normally leave our world and go onto the next. Yet sometimes, for no discriminate reason, they become trapped on Earth. These creatures known as Fades, are normally harmless to humanity; they cannot communicate in any way with those who are still alive. But a few have discovered how to gain a corporeal form by eating the flesh of the living. Luckily, there is a group of people who were, for whatever reason, granted powers that could be used against the Fades. However when this group, called Angelics, realize that they are slowly losing the battle, they discover a teenage boy named Paul. It becomes apparent that Paul is special with powers even greater than their own, and that he’s Earth’s last hope.
Anna, Paul’s twin sister, is a normal human. She’s the type of character who has extremely antagonistic relationships with others; she spends most of her time putting everyone, including her brother, down while always getting away with it. Anna is extremely brash, vulgar, and will not hesitate to share her distaste in something. Most people are scared of her, and it’s not too surprising why—in a lot of ways she would’ve made a great English Mean Girl. However, most of her loudness comes from the fact that her mother dotes on her brother while ignoring her. And while she does have a nice side, she’s not secretly a sweet angel deep down. She’ll just actually enjoy your company instead of considering you a waste of space.
Sample Post:
I’m not exactly sure how they expect me to throw a decent party in this dump. It smells completely of shit! I mean, a swamp, really? What’s the point in having alcohol if people are just going to start vomiting the moment they attempt to breathe? Although I’m probably going to need like three bottles of vodka myself if I’m going to make this work, and I’m willing to lower my standards enough to drink the cheap kind. That's all I'm expecting to get out here in the sticks; I feel like I need to shove my brother's face into my vagina to fit in properly here. Ew. Okay, so, I’ve thought up a game plan, so listen closely; I don’t need any of you furry freaks messing this up.
First off, those zombies need to be gone. I’ve dealt with enough bloody dead people lately that I don’t need any more ruining my life. Round them up and lead them to the forest or, I don’t know, throw sticks at them until they piss off? So what if it’s racist against corpses or something, they can plan their own funeral if they want one so badly. That’s practically a party for dead people, right? They can play that tail pinning game, except they’ll be reattaching their arms. I don’t really care as long as it’s as far away from mine as possible. And rejects usually like to party crash, so I’m going to need a couple of you monkeys to be bouncers. Try not to let anyone too hideous get inside as well since I can’t exactly host a party if I’ve clawed out my own eyeballs, can I?
Anyway, I was thinking of having it near the lake. We’re going to have to do something about the tentacled thing in there first. Maybe, like, get two priests, and dump holy water into it until it goes away? I don’t fucking know how sea monsters work. Why don’t you find it a boyfriend so they can distract themselves by spilling their ink all over each other. It’s either that or teach it how to mix drinks, because then it would at least be useful. Actually, wait, I really like that idea. One of you should get right on that because there is no way in hell I’m getting near that bad porno waiting to happen. I know that the activities in summer camps rarely stay rated G, but that fetish is one step away from a pervy guy who shags his dog territory—oh! Okay, right, I was thinking of hooking the music to all of those loudspeakers across the place. Crank it up loud enough so that between it and the liquor, I can almost forget where I am, okay? Nothing lame like jazz or country, ‘cause that would be unacceptable even if this shithole was on a farm.
You know what? I think I’m just going to write the rest down as a list. Go get me a pen and paper, and then . . . Jesus, can you even read? Whatever, I’ll just draw it all out and hope you twats know how to play Pictionary. Luckily for you lot, I’m above drawing cocks, so you don’t have to worry about confusing them with bananas and getting excited. See? I’m nice after all.
Character: Sanji
Series: One Piece
Character Age: 19
Canon: It all started with one simple beheading. With the execution of Gol D. Roger, the Pirate King, the pirate age began, and crews took to the seas for ludicrous amounts of treasure and pillaging. Our story begins with Monkey D. Luffy, a rubber man with a simple dream of finding the treasure in the Grand Line and becoming the Pirate king. Unfortunately, there's a lot of other people wish to take up Roger's mantle, and simultaneously unfortunately for them, Luffy is unstoppable, picking up his crew mates from all over and increasing the notoriety and modern super pirate legend of the Strawhats. Together they have adventures, epic battles, bouts of idiocy, and teach everyone what treasure and nakama really mean.
Sanji, one of the earlier recruited crew mates, is the chef. With a heart full of love for food and women (not necessarily in that order), he has the dream of finding All Blue, the legendary ocean that's a haven for cooks. To anyone he's not flirting with, Sanji has an aloof nature, composed and blunt, but occasionally provoked to anger or competition or ridiculousness given the scenario. Despite having a good head on his shoulder, women are his ultimate weakness. No matter if he's arguing with someone or swooning over someone else, he's quick to snap to attention and follow orders when things get serious. He’s a good crew member and, as he’d argue, an even better chef.
Sample Post:
A good chef never turns down an invite to cook for a long-term patron… and a great chef never turns down a lady looking for company this evening in the form of fine dining. What's her name? Marcy… ah, must be short for Marceline. It's heaven in the form of three syllables! Elegant and sophisticated, I can only imagine what she looks like in person! All I know of is her legendary glistening skin and her… ahem, hands-on nature --But enough with that! There's not a lot to work with in this mess hall, but it's far from completely unsalvageable. Let's see.
In a rustic setting like this, some refined cajun? Perfect. Cook and serve it with a bottle of red Zinfandel and it's sure to win over any heart! You, find the wine! I don't care if you have to shuffle from one end of the barrier to another to find it! And don't you dare open it, you're a mess and I can't tell you to wash your hands if you don't have any! Who the hell organized these spices? There's sprinkles in the paprika bottle-- that's inexcusable. Put your backs or lack thereof into it! We're going to wrangle a decent meal out of this shitty kitchen if it takes all night!
Was that so hard? Sure, it took a few tries because some helpers who won't be named tried sampling the unfinished dish and got a boot to the head for it. Mister Headless, your skull is in pieces over on that wall. Try taking it to the arts and craft hut and maybe there'll be a neurosurgeon with glue and stickers who can put it back together for you. The rest of you, take a damn bath. You realize how disorienting it is to be cooking meat while surrounded by living rotting meat, don't you? You'll be horrible chefs if you keep up that nasty bacteria-infested look you've got going. I'm not going to call you hopeless, but a clean kitchen is a good kitchen, and that's just a little hard to maintain if your body parts have a tendency to fall into the food. Yeah, I've heard about Tuesday. If I can get in a good word with the lady tonight, maybe we can get that disaster looked at.
Speaking of, if you'll excuse me, I've got to deliver this while it's still hot. Never keep a lady waiting. ♥
Marceline, I've brought--…!
…
Aaa, never mind. Tonight's menu is fried calamari.
Character’s Name: Gwen
Series: GuildWars
Character Age: ~18? We know it's nine years since she was a child.
The story of GuildWars begins on the last day before Ascalon, Gwen's idyllic homeland, is destroyed by the crystal bombs of the fire-loving Charr, reducing the rolling green meadows and clear waters to a tar-filled wasteland. The Charr killed her mother and captured and enslaved Gwen, forcing her to fight huge monsters in a pit for their amusement, until she was finally able to escape seven years later. The Ebon Vanguard, a group of Ascalon refugees still fighting the Charr, took her into their care, and Gwen now fights alongside them.
Gwen's experiences with the Charr have turned her from an inquisitive, carefree girl into an angry, vengeful young woman, hell-bent on ending the race that destroyed her home. She is cold and distant, never allowing anyone to break into her walls for fear that she may lose them, too. She will show thanks and give aid to anyone who needs it, but close personal relationships are not Gwen's strong suit. She clings tight to her past. The slightest reminder of it, a red iris flower or a broken flute, reminds her of all she lost.
Sample Post:
Here follows a message for Captain Langmar of the Ebon Vanguard
I hope this message reaches you. The toucan carrying it assures me it knows the way to Ascalon, but it's not exactly trustworthy. It's only managed to convince me that its kin are even less so.
In any case, I know you were adamant there were reports of survivors trapped here, but I've searched everywhere and, while the cows and talking toucans indicate signs of life, I haven't seen any actual life. Undead, sure, but they hardly count. They're too rotten to even wear armour, anyway. I thought maybe they used to be the survivors you were talking about, or maybe I was too late and the undead had killed the survivors, but they're clearly not capable of either. I threw a rock at one and its head fell off, then the others tried to eat its brains. The undead here could learn something from those at home... then again, maybe they couldn't. For all their cries of 'brains' it doesn't seem like they have any of their own. They certainly pose no threat, neither to Ascalon nor to the Charr.
As far as recruiting for the Vanguard goes, the purple gorillas look like possibly the most promising, but they'll need a lot of training and I'm not sure we can spare the resources. They look frightening, but again, they aren't actually threatening at all. One looked ready to attack me, so I warned it about what I had done to the Charr, and how fur burns just as well as wood and grass. It curled up and started crying. They're not exactly promising, I'll say that much.
All of this makes me wonder if I even have the right place. Nothing here is posing any real threat. The undead and gorillas couldn't possibly keep these hundreds of survivors held captive. It is, however, very easy to get lost here. I've searched the corn fields for hours only to find myself back at the barns and farmhouses. I will send another report in a few days, but if nothing turns up the, I suggest abandoning this mission. The fire-breathing ducks are disconcerting, and I think I heard one of the cows ticking.
Regards
Gwen
Character: Ayumu Narumi
Series: Spiral: the Bonds of Reasoning
Character Age: 16
Canon: Spiral in two words: Life Sucks. Life sucks when your older brother is better than you at everything; life sucks when your brother gets the fame, the fortune, and the girl. But, things get better when he mysteriously disappears, right? No, they don't! Because he’s a jerk and leaves you with a string of murder mysteries and crazy puzzles to solve.
Ayumu Narumi happens to be the younger brother of said jerk. He has a lot to be proud about - he's a piano virtuoso and incredibly smart - but is usually overshadowed by his brother’s success. He's sarcastic, and has a sharp tongue, and tends to make fun of people whenever he can. He’s also very observant, and to think of things in a stoic logical way. Ayumu doesn't want to solve the mysteries at first, but realizes that he can’t just ignore them. He eventually gets forced to solve them either because he gets threatened by some people, or because he just happens to be there at the right place and at the right time.
Sample Post:
If everyone can stop screaming and actually calm down, I’d like to begin this investigation. Inspector Want-Some-Brains over there said that he was going to eat me if I didn’t agree to do this. This is a job I have to do now, and I’ll try my best to take it seriously. I’ll just ignore the fact that I was forced to investigate on a gorilla’s disappearance. I’m not really an expert at monkey business, though.
The case file states that Mr. Brightfur Gorilla disappeared Monday afternoon, and was last seen leaving Ms. Diddy's tree. There was at trail of bloody footprints seen a few meters away Diddy's tree. The file also has what Diddy told Camp Police when she was questioned. She explained that she invited Brightfur over to talk about getting back together. Brightfur didn't want to, because he said he’s been putting his banana somewhere else, which is disgusting, by the way. Things got out of hand, and the two started fighting. Brightfur punched Diddy and stormed off. Obviously, Diddy wasn’t able to run after Brightfur because she was tending to whatever wounds she had. That gave her an alibi. A weak and stupid alibi, but I guess being smart doesn’t really help when you’re dealing with something as silly as this. I still don't know what the big deal about this is, though. Why would Brightfur replace her with this other gorilla? All gorillas look alike, anyway. They’re all pretty ugly.
And because this is dumb and I want to get this over with... Diddy would evidently have been the culprit. Her alibi is extremely weak, and she had a motive. Brightfur already had another girl, so Diddy killed him. "If I can't have his banana, no one can!" Typical stuff you hear in dramas. But honestly, gorillas can't really think that deeply, can they? They would probably fight about food, but not that kind.
But, whoever thinks an animal would actually think of committing murder is just dumb. Cheating gorillas? Who even thinks of that kind of stuff? This is what happened, and whoever thinks that I’m wrong is an idiot. Brightfur stormed off, stepped on something sharp, and stopped at a random tree to rest because he found walking to be difficult. See? It’s not complicated. It’s something that would actually happen to an animal. And at this point, all you can do is pray and hope that he’s still around somewhere because the chef at the Mess Hall is probably cooking something special right now.
Here’s your verdict: don’t eat today’s soup.
Character: Kanda Yuu
Character Age: 19
Series: D.Gray-man
Canon: At the end of the 19th century, mankind faces destruction at the hands of the Millenium Earl who wants to plunge the world into darkness using Akuma, weapons created from the souls of the dead. In an attempt to stop him, the Black Order has been given the task of finding Innocence, an ancient and powerful substance that has the ability to destroy these monsters, and those that can wield it. Known as Exorcists, these people risk their lives daily for this cause. Whether it's willingly, though, is another matter entirely. Even if the Order may be on the side of "good," they have their own dark secrets they try to keep hidden.
Kanda is an artificial being created by the Order in an attempt to utilize the Innocence previously owned by a deceased Exorcist. Because of the violent nature of the tests he would have to undergo, his body was made to heal much faster than an ordinary human's: able to regenerate limbs and even revive from death. As a result of this project and the bitter experiences it caused, Kanda has a considerable amount of anger and hatred towards the Order even though he continues to work for it. He's cold and brusque with both superiors and colleagues alike. He's also easily irritated and kind of a dick, but for all his complaining, he does care deeply for a select few people in his own way. Having recently received some closure about his past, Kanda has started to find his own path to redefine who he is and what he believes in. He's also begun to show a bit more emotion, and, albeit through his own antagonistic methods, is working to right some of the wrongs he's committed.
Sample Post:
I know all too well how cruel human hands can be. It's almost laughable, really. They feel threatened, so they come up with a plan to keep themselves safe. When that doesn't work, they try to find another way, taking it a step further. Two steps. Three steps. And before you even realize it, they've left a trail of bodies left behind. Necessary sacrifices to ensure peace, right? It's all "for the greater good." Well, let me tell you something. That's just self-righteous bullshit. They don't care about me, and they sure as hell don't care about you. You can't even put yourselves back together when you fall apart. All day long you just drag your pathetic, decaying bodies around and cry for brains. How sad is that?
Of course you would say it's not your fault you got caught up in whatever experiments this Sayre woman is doing. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Don't give me that crap. Even for those that might have genuinely been unlucky, it's too late. You've become fodder. You're weak, and easy to pick off with little to no chance of fighting back or defending yourselves. Does that make you angry? Are you frustrated with the way your life has turned out? You should be. Because if you're not, you deserve the hand you've been dealt. I hate complacent idiots, and I don't give a shit if you think I'm being heartless. I'm not here to baby you or reassure you everything's going to be okay.
You still want to bitch and moan? Just don't know when to give up, do you? How annoying. But I can admire the fact that you've still got a bit of spark burning. If you want me, then fine. Come at me using all the strength you have left in your broken bodies. Try to grab on and bring me down. Try to sink your teeth into me and hold fast. I'll face you. With this sword, and these hands, I'll deliver your salvation.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Character: Paul Roberts
Series: The Fades
Character Age: 17
Canon: The world is split in two: the world of the living and the world of the dead. Most humans are unaware of the second world, which is occupied by dead people called Fades. In the past, Fades were unable to touch or communicate with the other side; recently, they’ve thrown the balance of life and death into chaos by finding a way to live again. Their method is to eat human flesh. The only ones who stand between them and their potentially apocalyptic actions are special humans called Angelics, who have been granted powers. The most significant of them is the newcomer, Paul, who they believe to be their savior.
But rather than thinking himself a savior, Paul has always thought of himself as a geek, which is an accurate enough label. Most of his strengths lie in science fiction trivia rather than socializing with others. Oftentimes, Paul is usually left on his own (sometimes vocalized) trains of thoughts instead of worrying about the outside world—even if his best friend is standing right there. Indeed, he can ramble on in meandering ways, and his lack of consideration for others reveals his selfish side. When actually participating in a two-sided conversation, Paul comes off as stilted, awkward, and critical to top it off—with the last part pushed to the limit when he’s in a bad mood. However, Paul does have his heart in the right place, and he makes a point of taking after superheroes in order to help people. Even if being a savior is overwhelming, others can count on him to do the right thing. It might frighten him and he might hesitate, but he’ll always run toward a problem rather than away from it. Just let him find his courage first.
Note: Paul is taken from the end of 1x5.
Sample Post:
Over a month ago, a hoard of zombies standing before me in rapt attention would have been a lot more unsettling. But still, this is much closer to what I had originally expected from an encounter with an army of undead; the last one turned out to be far more organized about it. Of course, I thought I'd be hiding away in a bustling shopping centre when it happened. You see, shopping centres have a good variety of supplies and they’re excellent at locking up tight to keep people out. Even normal people have actually seen these films, so they’d agree with me that that’s the place to go. But here’s the catch. The owners aren’t gonna let anyone in who wasn’t there in the first place, ’cause they’ve seen the films, too. Anyone new could be an unknown hazard. So, what you’ve gotta do is, if there are signs of a zombie attack, you go to the mall and wait it out. Hopefully, the real military’s actually competent enough to deal with it.
Though ... I guess it’s too late for all of you. Even if you’re special zombies, good at behaving and keeping a hold of yourself ... except when you lose the limbs to do so ... there’s really no changing what’s happened. You’re the ones who’d be stuck outside the shopping centre, anyway, banging yourselves bloody while everyone inside eats cheese and pretzels. But that’s why I’ve been asked here. According to your Director, I’m meant to help you come to terms with your circumstances. A proper meal won’t give you the infamy that you’re looking for.
But here’s the thing, none of you are very intimidating, and nothing's going to change that. There’s no reason for any of them to listen to you. And, actually, that’s something I understand. We have that in common. I was ... am ... I am a loser, which meant I was invisible unless someone needed a punching bag. You understand, right? So, anyway, that’s what they think you are. Only none of you really chose to be this way the way I did when I dissected the nonexistent character motivations of Cobb’s team in Inception; it could have been less obvious that they were mere constructs of his psyche. Anyway, now you’re stuck here against your will in what’s essentially a typical quarantine zone with a few extra perks. And for the most part, the people who aren’t like you are living very peacefully, and you’re all ... well, every day you’re shuffling, at least. What else can you do?
The only thing I can think of is you redeeming yourselves by helping the others escape. They can’t give you their brains anyway. Freeing them wouldn’t help you much, but there’s not much to be said for that. Unless you decide to suddenly become ravenous and infectious—oh don’t look excited. I wasn’t serious, and you couldn't pull it off anyway. But once you start working, I’d like to have a word with the Director about the naming scheme here. I’m not saying Camp Crystal Lake was particularly creative, but she isn’t even trying. It might liven up the place a bit. Well, except for all of you.
Poll #9274 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 55
In or out?
Character: Anna Roberts
Series: The Fades
Character Age: 17
Canon: When a person dies, they normally leave our world and go onto the next. Yet sometimes, for no discriminate reason, they become trapped on Earth. These creatures known as Fades, are normally harmless to humanity; they cannot communicate in any way with those who are still alive. But a few have discovered how to gain a corporeal form by eating the flesh of the living. Luckily, there is a group of people who were, for whatever reason, granted powers that could be used against the Fades. However when this group, called Angelics, realize that they are slowly losing the battle, they discover a teenage boy named Paul. It becomes apparent that Paul is special with powers even greater than their own, and that he’s Earth’s last hope.
Anna, Paul’s twin sister, is a normal human. She’s the type of character who has extremely antagonistic relationships with others; she spends most of her time putting everyone, including her brother, down while always getting away with it. Anna is extremely brash, vulgar, and will not hesitate to share her distaste in something. Most people are scared of her, and it’s not too surprising why—in a lot of ways she would’ve made a great English Mean Girl. However, most of her loudness comes from the fact that her mother dotes on her brother while ignoring her. And while she does have a nice side, she’s not secretly a sweet angel deep down. She’ll just actually enjoy your company instead of considering you a waste of space.
Sample Post:
I’m not exactly sure how they expect me to throw a decent party in this dump. It smells completely of shit! I mean, a swamp, really? What’s the point in having alcohol if people are just going to start vomiting the moment they attempt to breathe? Although I’m probably going to need like three bottles of vodka myself if I’m going to make this work, and I’m willing to lower my standards enough to drink the cheap kind. That's all I'm expecting to get out here in the sticks; I feel like I need to shove my brother's face into my vagina to fit in properly here. Ew. Okay, so, I’ve thought up a game plan, so listen closely; I don’t need any of you furry freaks messing this up.
First off, those zombies need to be gone. I’ve dealt with enough bloody dead people lately that I don’t need any more ruining my life. Round them up and lead them to the forest or, I don’t know, throw sticks at them until they piss off? So what if it’s racist against corpses or something, they can plan their own funeral if they want one so badly. That’s practically a party for dead people, right? They can play that tail pinning game, except they’ll be reattaching their arms. I don’t really care as long as it’s as far away from mine as possible. And rejects usually like to party crash, so I’m going to need a couple of you monkeys to be bouncers. Try not to let anyone too hideous get inside as well since I can’t exactly host a party if I’ve clawed out my own eyeballs, can I?
Anyway, I was thinking of having it near the lake. We’re going to have to do something about the tentacled thing in there first. Maybe, like, get two priests, and dump holy water into it until it goes away? I don’t fucking know how sea monsters work. Why don’t you find it a boyfriend so they can distract themselves by spilling their ink all over each other. It’s either that or teach it how to mix drinks, because then it would at least be useful. Actually, wait, I really like that idea. One of you should get right on that because there is no way in hell I’m getting near that bad porno waiting to happen. I know that the activities in summer camps rarely stay rated G, but that fetish is one step away from a pervy guy who shags his dog territory—oh! Okay, right, I was thinking of hooking the music to all of those loudspeakers across the place. Crank it up loud enough so that between it and the liquor, I can almost forget where I am, okay? Nothing lame like jazz or country, ‘cause that would be unacceptable even if this shithole was on a farm.
You know what? I think I’m just going to write the rest down as a list. Go get me a pen and paper, and then . . . Jesus, can you even read? Whatever, I’ll just draw it all out and hope you twats know how to play Pictionary. Luckily for you lot, I’m above drawing cocks, so you don’t have to worry about confusing them with bananas and getting excited. See? I’m nice after all.
Poll #9275 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 56
In or out?
Character: Sanji
Series: One Piece
Character Age: 19
Canon: It all started with one simple beheading. With the execution of Gol D. Roger, the Pirate King, the pirate age began, and crews took to the seas for ludicrous amounts of treasure and pillaging. Our story begins with Monkey D. Luffy, a rubber man with a simple dream of finding the treasure in the Grand Line and becoming the Pirate king. Unfortunately, there's a lot of other people wish to take up Roger's mantle, and simultaneously unfortunately for them, Luffy is unstoppable, picking up his crew mates from all over and increasing the notoriety and modern super pirate legend of the Strawhats. Together they have adventures, epic battles, bouts of idiocy, and teach everyone what treasure and nakama really mean.
Sanji, one of the earlier recruited crew mates, is the chef. With a heart full of love for food and women (not necessarily in that order), he has the dream of finding All Blue, the legendary ocean that's a haven for cooks. To anyone he's not flirting with, Sanji has an aloof nature, composed and blunt, but occasionally provoked to anger or competition or ridiculousness given the scenario. Despite having a good head on his shoulder, women are his ultimate weakness. No matter if he's arguing with someone or swooning over someone else, he's quick to snap to attention and follow orders when things get serious. He’s a good crew member and, as he’d argue, an even better chef.
Sample Post:
A good chef never turns down an invite to cook for a long-term patron… and a great chef never turns down a lady looking for company this evening in the form of fine dining. What's her name? Marcy… ah, must be short for Marceline. It's heaven in the form of three syllables! Elegant and sophisticated, I can only imagine what she looks like in person! All I know of is her legendary glistening skin and her… ahem, hands-on nature --But enough with that! There's not a lot to work with in this mess hall, but it's far from completely unsalvageable. Let's see.
In a rustic setting like this, some refined cajun? Perfect. Cook and serve it with a bottle of red Zinfandel and it's sure to win over any heart! You, find the wine! I don't care if you have to shuffle from one end of the barrier to another to find it! And don't you dare open it, you're a mess and I can't tell you to wash your hands if you don't have any! Who the hell organized these spices? There's sprinkles in the paprika bottle-- that's inexcusable. Put your backs or lack thereof into it! We're going to wrangle a decent meal out of this shitty kitchen if it takes all night!
Was that so hard? Sure, it took a few tries because some helpers who won't be named tried sampling the unfinished dish and got a boot to the head for it. Mister Headless, your skull is in pieces over on that wall. Try taking it to the arts and craft hut and maybe there'll be a neurosurgeon with glue and stickers who can put it back together for you. The rest of you, take a damn bath. You realize how disorienting it is to be cooking meat while surrounded by living rotting meat, don't you? You'll be horrible chefs if you keep up that nasty bacteria-infested look you've got going. I'm not going to call you hopeless, but a clean kitchen is a good kitchen, and that's just a little hard to maintain if your body parts have a tendency to fall into the food. Yeah, I've heard about Tuesday. If I can get in a good word with the lady tonight, maybe we can get that disaster looked at.
Speaking of, if you'll excuse me, I've got to deliver this while it's still hot. Never keep a lady waiting. ♥
Marceline, I've brought--…!
…
Aaa, never mind. Tonight's menu is fried calamari.
Poll #9276 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 58
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Character’s Name: Gwen
Series: GuildWars
Character Age: ~18? We know it's nine years since she was a child.
The story of GuildWars begins on the last day before Ascalon, Gwen's idyllic homeland, is destroyed by the crystal bombs of the fire-loving Charr, reducing the rolling green meadows and clear waters to a tar-filled wasteland. The Charr killed her mother and captured and enslaved Gwen, forcing her to fight huge monsters in a pit for their amusement, until she was finally able to escape seven years later. The Ebon Vanguard, a group of Ascalon refugees still fighting the Charr, took her into their care, and Gwen now fights alongside them.
Gwen's experiences with the Charr have turned her from an inquisitive, carefree girl into an angry, vengeful young woman, hell-bent on ending the race that destroyed her home. She is cold and distant, never allowing anyone to break into her walls for fear that she may lose them, too. She will show thanks and give aid to anyone who needs it, but close personal relationships are not Gwen's strong suit. She clings tight to her past. The slightest reminder of it, a red iris flower or a broken flute, reminds her of all she lost.
Sample Post:
Here follows a message for Captain Langmar of the Ebon Vanguard
I hope this message reaches you. The toucan carrying it assures me it knows the way to Ascalon, but it's not exactly trustworthy. It's only managed to convince me that its kin are even less so.
In any case, I know you were adamant there were reports of survivors trapped here, but I've searched everywhere and, while the cows and talking toucans indicate signs of life, I haven't seen any actual life. Undead, sure, but they hardly count. They're too rotten to even wear armour, anyway. I thought maybe they used to be the survivors you were talking about, or maybe I was too late and the undead had killed the survivors, but they're clearly not capable of either. I threw a rock at one and its head fell off, then the others tried to eat its brains. The undead here could learn something from those at home... then again, maybe they couldn't. For all their cries of 'brains' it doesn't seem like they have any of their own. They certainly pose no threat, neither to Ascalon nor to the Charr.
As far as recruiting for the Vanguard goes, the purple gorillas look like possibly the most promising, but they'll need a lot of training and I'm not sure we can spare the resources. They look frightening, but again, they aren't actually threatening at all. One looked ready to attack me, so I warned it about what I had done to the Charr, and how fur burns just as well as wood and grass. It curled up and started crying. They're not exactly promising, I'll say that much.
All of this makes me wonder if I even have the right place. Nothing here is posing any real threat. The undead and gorillas couldn't possibly keep these hundreds of survivors held captive. It is, however, very easy to get lost here. I've searched the corn fields for hours only to find myself back at the barns and farmhouses. I will send another report in a few days, but if nothing turns up the, I suggest abandoning this mission. The fire-breathing ducks are disconcerting, and I think I heard one of the cows ticking.
Regards
Gwen
Poll #9277 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 51
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Character: Ayumu Narumi
Series: Spiral: the Bonds of Reasoning
Character Age: 16
Canon: Spiral in two words: Life Sucks. Life sucks when your older brother is better than you at everything; life sucks when your brother gets the fame, the fortune, and the girl. But, things get better when he mysteriously disappears, right? No, they don't! Because he’s a jerk and leaves you with a string of murder mysteries and crazy puzzles to solve.
Ayumu Narumi happens to be the younger brother of said jerk. He has a lot to be proud about - he's a piano virtuoso and incredibly smart - but is usually overshadowed by his brother’s success. He's sarcastic, and has a sharp tongue, and tends to make fun of people whenever he can. He’s also very observant, and to think of things in a stoic logical way. Ayumu doesn't want to solve the mysteries at first, but realizes that he can’t just ignore them. He eventually gets forced to solve them either because he gets threatened by some people, or because he just happens to be there at the right place and at the right time.
Sample Post:
If everyone can stop screaming and actually calm down, I’d like to begin this investigation. Inspector Want-Some-Brains over there said that he was going to eat me if I didn’t agree to do this. This is a job I have to do now, and I’ll try my best to take it seriously. I’ll just ignore the fact that I was forced to investigate on a gorilla’s disappearance. I’m not really an expert at monkey business, though.
The case file states that Mr. Brightfur Gorilla disappeared Monday afternoon, and was last seen leaving Ms. Diddy's tree. There was at trail of bloody footprints seen a few meters away Diddy's tree. The file also has what Diddy told Camp Police when she was questioned. She explained that she invited Brightfur over to talk about getting back together. Brightfur didn't want to, because he said he’s been putting his banana somewhere else, which is disgusting, by the way. Things got out of hand, and the two started fighting. Brightfur punched Diddy and stormed off. Obviously, Diddy wasn’t able to run after Brightfur because she was tending to whatever wounds she had. That gave her an alibi. A weak and stupid alibi, but I guess being smart doesn’t really help when you’re dealing with something as silly as this. I still don't know what the big deal about this is, though. Why would Brightfur replace her with this other gorilla? All gorillas look alike, anyway. They’re all pretty ugly.
And because this is dumb and I want to get this over with... Diddy would evidently have been the culprit. Her alibi is extremely weak, and she had a motive. Brightfur already had another girl, so Diddy killed him. "If I can't have his banana, no one can!" Typical stuff you hear in dramas. But honestly, gorillas can't really think that deeply, can they? They would probably fight about food, but not that kind.
But, whoever thinks an animal would actually think of committing murder is just dumb. Cheating gorillas? Who even thinks of that kind of stuff? This is what happened, and whoever thinks that I’m wrong is an idiot. Brightfur stormed off, stepped on something sharp, and stopped at a random tree to rest because he found walking to be difficult. See? It’s not complicated. It’s something that would actually happen to an animal. And at this point, all you can do is pray and hope that he’s still around somewhere because the chef at the Mess Hall is probably cooking something special right now.
Here’s your verdict: don’t eat today’s soup.
Poll #9278 Vote!
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Character: Kanda Yuu
Character Age: 19
Series: D.Gray-man
Canon: At the end of the 19th century, mankind faces destruction at the hands of the Millenium Earl who wants to plunge the world into darkness using Akuma, weapons created from the souls of the dead. In an attempt to stop him, the Black Order has been given the task of finding Innocence, an ancient and powerful substance that has the ability to destroy these monsters, and those that can wield it. Known as Exorcists, these people risk their lives daily for this cause. Whether it's willingly, though, is another matter entirely. Even if the Order may be on the side of "good," they have their own dark secrets they try to keep hidden.
Kanda is an artificial being created by the Order in an attempt to utilize the Innocence previously owned by a deceased Exorcist. Because of the violent nature of the tests he would have to undergo, his body was made to heal much faster than an ordinary human's: able to regenerate limbs and even revive from death. As a result of this project and the bitter experiences it caused, Kanda has a considerable amount of anger and hatred towards the Order even though he continues to work for it. He's cold and brusque with both superiors and colleagues alike. He's also easily irritated and kind of a dick, but for all his complaining, he does care deeply for a select few people in his own way. Having recently received some closure about his past, Kanda has started to find his own path to redefine who he is and what he believes in. He's also begun to show a bit more emotion, and, albeit through his own antagonistic methods, is working to right some of the wrongs he's committed.
Sample Post:
I know all too well how cruel human hands can be. It's almost laughable, really. They feel threatened, so they come up with a plan to keep themselves safe. When that doesn't work, they try to find another way, taking it a step further. Two steps. Three steps. And before you even realize it, they've left a trail of bodies left behind. Necessary sacrifices to ensure peace, right? It's all "for the greater good." Well, let me tell you something. That's just self-righteous bullshit. They don't care about me, and they sure as hell don't care about you. You can't even put yourselves back together when you fall apart. All day long you just drag your pathetic, decaying bodies around and cry for brains. How sad is that?
Of course you would say it's not your fault you got caught up in whatever experiments this Sayre woman is doing. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Don't give me that crap. Even for those that might have genuinely been unlucky, it's too late. You've become fodder. You're weak, and easy to pick off with little to no chance of fighting back or defending yourselves. Does that make you angry? Are you frustrated with the way your life has turned out? You should be. Because if you're not, you deserve the hand you've been dealt. I hate complacent idiots, and I don't give a shit if you think I'm being heartless. I'm not here to baby you or reassure you everything's going to be okay.
You still want to bitch and moan? Just don't know when to give up, do you? How annoying. But I can admire the fact that you've still got a bit of spark burning. If you want me, then fine. Come at me using all the strength you have left in your broken bodies. Try to grab on and bring me down. Try to sink your teeth into me and hold fast. I'll face you. With this sword, and these hands, I'll deliver your salvation.
Poll #9279 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 44
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