Thomas Barrow (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
unwinding) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
campfuckuvote2013-07-24 09:00 pm
unwinding) wrote in campfuckuvote2013-07-24 09:00 pm
(no subject)
Aw yeahhh, first round, have some campers and counselors!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. These results aren't changing, so! Closeddd.
Character: Hibiki Kuze
Series: Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor 2
Character Age: 18
Canon: Tokyo! Supernatural hub of the world! Last bastion of humanity as alien invaders—and demons. Can't forget the demons—destroy the planet! This is the reality that Hibiki Kuze and two of his friends are thrust into one Sunday afternoon. Thankfully, the Japan Meteorological Agency, Geomagnetism Research Department (JPs for short) has been anticipating this event, and Hibiki gets pulled into a series of events that will cause him to battle demons using his cellphone, decide the fate of the world, and ask his female party members to act sexy for him in order to save the day. It's that kind of game.
Hibiki's got a lot to deal with, yet he does it with great aplomb, taking up leadership roles in a government organization specifically created for dealing with the crisis—despite being a civilian. His ability to keep a relatively level head in a bad situation makes the others look to him as a leader, and he finds time to reach out to others even as the world is literally falling apart around him. His friendly demeanor and sense of responsibility causes him to be the pillar for several people to lean on during the crisis. Despite this, he can be surprisingly aggressive at times, and he's prone to saying and doing some truly eccentric things. Even when the world's ending, Hibiki doesn't lose his sense of humor, and he maintains an unique way of lightening the mood that belies how capable he can be.
Sample Entry:
Tell us about yourself in a few words.
Is this what a job interview feels like? Hibiki Kuze, age 18. "High School Student" would be the easiest thing to put here.
I like rabbits, music, taking long walks on the beach, and unintentionally reenacting scenes from a horror movie. My sign is Gemini, my status is single, and my favorite body type is— Sorry, sorry! Didn't mean to make this sound like a dating profile!
Why are you joining our happy community?
I'm joining you? I don't even know where I am!
Do you think you are good in a crisis? Why?
Sure. I've got good decision making skills, I'm able to remain calm in most cases, and I don't mind taking up a leadership position and making tough decisions. Having a sense of humor helps, too.
I'm also good listener. Reaching out to others and making connections is important during a crisis. Understanding each other can clear up misunderstandings and prevent more tragedies from breaking out. After all, we're all human. Except the ones who aren't.
What if the crisis involved the end of the world? Please explain.
I'm practically an expert! I have personal experience with demons, aliens, alien demons, demon aliens, cities being destroyed, planet-consuming voids, riots, the chronically late, volatile redheads...
Maybe I should've prepared a resume. Am I applying to a summer camp or an internship?
Can you swim? Y/N
Yes.
- Could you still do it under extreme distress? Y/N
Yes.
-- While dragging someone else to shore? Y/N
Yes?
--- While something, let’s say a tentacle, tries to drag you under? Y/N
Pervert!
---- How would you handle that situation?
Start clucking like a chicken while impersonating a shark. I'm pretty sure that would never happen in a hentai. Unless it's the really freaky kind.
Do you consider yourself squeamish? Please provide an example.
This question is already making me squeamish.
Do you find these questions increasingly unnerving? Why/Why not?
Yeah. I think I've stumbled onto the set of either a B-movie or an adult film...
If there was a good dog and a criminal both hanging from a cliff and you could only save one, which would you save and why?
I'll save them both. It's true that you sometimes can't save everyone, but without knowing anything else, I think I'd still try. There's almost always a way—you just have to look for it. There isn't actually a dog or a criminal hanging from a cliff, right? With the questions so far, I wouldn't put it past you...
What do you expect from your camp experience?
Awwwww, yeeeeeeeah, summer caaaaaamp! Fishing, playing, making friends, running around, and exploring! Huddling around the campfire at night, and swimming in the lake at day! A summer full of experiences and people that I'll never forget!
But since you asked me all those questions, I get the feeling it won't be that idyllic. The end of the world, tentacles, and things that might make me squeamish, huh...? All right, I'm ready. Let's survive.
Character: Steve Rogers/Captain America
Series: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Character Age: 92 (appears 26)
Job: Bully Counselor
Canon: Captain America is your proverbial Cinderella story: Steve Rogers, orphaned, scrawny and with an alarmingly long list of medical ailments nonetheless dreams of being a soldier and fighting for his country in the Second World War. Along comes his fairy godmother in the form of Dr. Abraham Erskine, a scientist who has developed the proverbial glass slipper with a serum designed to create a super soldier. A bippity-boppity-boo and a Stark later, and Steve becomes the belle of the ball, the world's first superhero, leading the Allies to victory (and defeating a supervillain while he's at it) with the aid of his feisty sidekicks: a motley group of soldiers called the Howling Commandos, his childhood best friend, Bucky Barnes, and the Prince Charming of the piece, Agent Peggy Carter.
However, the ending isn't happily ever after so much as... ever after. Steve sacrifices himself to save the day, but while the day gets good and saved, he ends up frozen in the arctic for about 70 years. He's defrosted by S.H.I.E.L.D. (the government agency that deals with the kind of threats one would expect in, oh, comic books) and wakes up in the modern world, everyone he once knew either dead or geriatric. S.H.I.E.L.D. eventually recruits him into The Avengers Initiative, conceived of as a group of BAMFs willing to fight the kind of evil only superheroes can fight, and Captain America continues to save the world.
Steve Rogers is a good man. It would be easy to reduce his story to brains versus brawn, but while Steve is intelligent and thoughtful, it's his character that sets him apart. For most of his (conscious) life, he's had a deficit of physical strength, with only the strength of his character to show for himself, so when he finally achieves the former, his character is what informs it. He fights for the bullied, not to be a bully himself. Though he can be stubborn regardless of long-term consequences when it comes to things he wants, or things he believes are right, he's also kind, genuinely modest (save for the spangly outfit) and witty without ever being insincere.
Sample Entry:
Tell us about yourself in a few words.
I can't say anyone's asked me that in a long time. My name is Steve Rogers, and I've got some experience dealing with bullies. The fights that involve aliens from outer space are newer for me, but a bully's a bully. Not that the, uh, characters I've seen around here are bullies, or even aliens, for that matter. Everyone's come here for a reason — I think — and anyone's welcome to help. But I've been around that block and probably been beat up there a few times, so whatever threat any of you are facing, you've got me now.
Why are you joining our happy community?
Well, they tell me it's to help your campers here deal with bullies. I'm happy to help, though if I'm gonna do this job maybe we should talk about what you expect from me. I don't subscribe to the "ignore 'em until they go away" school of thought when a sock in the jaw will get it done, and done better. It's not just about who has the biggest stick, but it sure helps to have one that can deliver a good whack to the guy coming after you.
What do you expect from the campers here?
They shouldn't go looking for a fight for the sake of a fight. But they should know when to stand up for themselves and when they should stand up for other people. And if you're in situation you can't get out of, give the other guys a chance to walk away. It will give them something to think about after you have to lay 'em out.
Do you have any deep personal traumas you might inexplicably be compelled to share in this questionnaire? Please describe.
What, like taking a nap in the tundra for seventy years? Woulda been nice to have a sleeping bag, but there's not a lot more to it than that.
Do you have a five year plan in mind?
Don't get frozen. Hoping I can stick to that one for more than five years, honestly, but I guess we'll see.
Have you committed any crimes you were or should have been convicted from?
...well, I may have falsified some information on my enlistment form. Forms.
Are you lying on your previous answer?
Not this time. I hope it's not gonna be a problem, 'cause now that I know you need some help I think we're gonna be stuck with each other for a while.
Character: James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes
Series: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
Character Age: in his early 20s
Job: Trauma Counselor
Canon: Once upon a time, there was a sickly man from Brooklyn by the name of Steve Rogers who totally hated bullies and wanted to fight them and stand up for the little guy and other super honorable things like that. With it being the World War II-era, this of course means he would love nothing more than to dive into battle with the Nazis, a feat rendered impossible by his weak physiology. After attracting the attention of Dr. Abraham Erskine, Steve is given a serum that makes him into a super soldier, enabling him to fight in the war. Under the title "Captain America," Steve leads his ragtag comrades, the Howling Commandos, into battle against villains like HYDRA and Red Skull. It's all fun and games until people fall and freeze in the ice!
And then there's Sgt. James Buchanan Barnes -- "Bucky" to his friends. In this iteration, Bucky is Steve's childhood best friend and has always had Steve's back, be it with a swift quip or a left hook to someone's face. A big brother type, Bucky is a snarky sort as well as a shameless flirt. His speech tends to be casual, bordering on rude at times. He is, however, a realist; the war has worn him down to a degree, and he has his moments of reticence, deflecting with a bit of smart humor when need be. It’s been noted that Bucky tends to take on more of the dirty work; he acts as the sniper of the group and picks off targets with ease. Still, Bucky is nothing if not Steve's reliable right hand, always standing at his side even after he becomes Captain America and working with his group, the Howling Commandos. His loyalty to his friends remains strong, even after the world has beaten him down. Just don't mind him if he complains the entire time.
Sample Entry:
Tell us about yourself in a few words.
Tell you all about me, huh? Well, why don't you tell me something about yourself or your boss first? I've heard a few things about the dame that runs this place. Sayre, right? That's a sad story there, with her and the dead fiance and all that. Believe me, I'm all for the whole "eye for an eye" retribution thing, but I can't see how kidnapping a bunch of kids is going to help her sleep at night. Y'know what could help her sleep at night? Moving on with someone like, say-- me. I'm James Buchanan Barnes. That’s "Bucky" to my friends and Sergeant Barnes to you. Pass this on to her later, will ya?
Why are you joining our happy community?
Y'know, it’s funny -- I was about to ask you the same thing, 'cause I can't say it was my idea. Anyway, I was given a letter when I got here saying something about trauma counseling, and I'm thinking you might have the wrong guy on this one. If it’s steering a bunch of dumb kids onto the right path, well, that's a different story right there. Some of 'em just need a nudge or a gentle push or a swift kick in the shins to shape up, y'know what I mean? Now, if that's what you want, we could be here all night because I practically wrote the book on this subject with a buddy of mine.
Trauma counseling, though? That's a whole other beast. Yeah, sure, I've been in the war and I know some great coping methods, but I don't really think those are all that age appropriate if you get what I'm saying. Heh.
Do you think you are good in a crisis? Why?
Sergeant Barnes, remember? I was a sniper so yeah, I'd say I've seen my share of crises through my scope before. I'm not about to run down my resume of doom and gloom with you fellows, but I’ve definitely dealt with some serious bullshit tailing HYDRA over in Europe. And let me tell you, those guys? They know how to cause a crisis. Your little zombie infestation here or whatever it's supposed to be can’t even hold a candle to that.
What if the crisis involved the end of the world? Please explain.
-- whoa, whoa, wait. When did the end of the world come into play here? I'm getting a sense of deja vu. Weren't you all supposed to be Canadian or something?
Do you consider yourself squeamish? Please provide an example.
... and here I thought this was a children's summer camp. My mistake.
Do you find these questions increasingly unnerving? Why/Why not?
Yes, because I apparently have a degree of sanity which, by the way, would be news to some people.
Can you perform a flawless headshot?
Finally. It's about time you asked me something relevant! And I can tell you right now, that won't be a problem. I am, in fact, the best damn shot you've seen in quite some time. Like I said before -- sniper. Look, if you folks want a practical demonstration, just give me a pack of kids and rifles to arm 'em with, and we’ll put a dent in your zombie population in no time. Think of it as ... pest control. And hey, it’s an excellent way of blowing off some steam which, by the way, is great for working through trauma. Huh, guess I’ve got a knack for this counseling stuff after all!
Character: Tony Stark
Series: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Character Age: 42 (being apped post The Avengers)
Job: "Consultant"
Canon: MCU is a world much like ours, with the difference that sometimes superheroes happen, either due to terrible scientific accidents or because gods drop by from Asgard or, in Tony Stark’s case, because he was kidnapped and kept in a cave until he built a missile. He didn't, instead he built himself a suit of armor and became Iron Man. As Iron Man, he’s not exactly a traditional superhero, he doesn’t bother with secret identities, doesn't do sidekicks and doesn't shy away from the spotlight. He's full of himself, sarcastic and a bit of a pain to deal with.
Tony is a genius, having graduated from MIT at 17 and taken over his father’s company at 21 there is absolutely nothing material he needs. After the events of Iron Man, he grows more conscious of what his company is doing and turns it around, turning its focus into clean energy and no longer providing the military with weapons. He cares, but he doesn't care selflessly, he's selfish, egocentric, snarky and still a pretty damn good hero regardless. He's also in a very stable relationship with his former assistant Pepper Potts, a badass lady capable of getting Tony to do things he doesn’t want to do. [SPOILERS FOR IM3] After the events in The Avengers, Tony develops PTSD, which manifests itself through insomnia and mild anxiety attacks whenever he’s reminded of New York.[/SPOILERS]
Sample Entry:
Tell us about yourself in a few words.
Please, you know exactly who I am.
Why are you joining our happy community?
Community service. Give back to the people... and. Okay, I have no idea, I'm sure someone tried to hand me something explaining, but I don't like being handed things. It's a problem, I know, I'm working on it.
So, what am I doing here?
What do you expect from your camp experience?
Camp experience? This is a camp?
How did you get me here again?
What is your job here at CFUD? What do you think that means?
And I have a job, lovely. Gainful employment is... nowhere on my list of favorite things, but it is above not-gainful employment. What was it? Someone said "consultant" at some point. Kind of vague as far as job descriptions go. Did I sign anything? See, I don't think I did because someone would've had to hand me something to sign and like I said, I don't like being handed things.
And even if I had signed something, I’m sure it’s not a legally binding document. And even if it were, I’ve got an excellent law team, and even if I didn’t, I think I might be able to pay damages or whatever it is this surely-illegal-contract specifies. So, back to the question. I don’t have a job here.
Do you think you are good in a crisis? Why?
That's funny, really. Hilarious. Am I good in a crisis. You should get yourself on TV, 'I asked Tony Stark if he's good in a crisis.' Instant success.
What if the crisis involved the end of the world? Please explain.
And it keeps getting better. Are you serious? Huh, this place does look pretty remote. I guess you could have missed the whole shebang. So I'll explain just this once, the world was in danger and it was saved already. You're welcome, by the way.
Do you consider yourself squeamish? Please provide an example.
Yes. I have Pepper kill the spiders in the bathroom.
Seriously, what is this?
Would you be able to dispose of the flesh of the undead? How?
Okay, look. This was cute at first but we have to draw a line somewhere and that line's on 'flesh of the undead’ I’m as much of a horror movie fan as the next guy, but this joke’s been drawn out for more than long enough.
Do you find these questions increasingly unnerving? Why/Why not?
Yes, yes I do find these questions increasingly unnerving. I don’t see my car and I don't see my people and you just brought up zombies. I would've laughed a few months back, really, zombies, haha. Because we both know that zombies don’t exist. But you know what? Aliens didn’t exist either, and look at how that turned out.
Do you have any deep personal traumas you might inexplicably be compelled to share in this questionnaire? Please describe.
No. We're done, I'm out of here. And you are not getting any autographs, I don't like you.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Character: Hibiki Kuze
Series: Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor 2
Character Age: 18
Canon: Tokyo! Supernatural hub of the world! Last bastion of humanity as alien invaders—and demons. Can't forget the demons—destroy the planet! This is the reality that Hibiki Kuze and two of his friends are thrust into one Sunday afternoon. Thankfully, the Japan Meteorological Agency, Geomagnetism Research Department (JPs for short) has been anticipating this event, and Hibiki gets pulled into a series of events that will cause him to battle demons using his cellphone, decide the fate of the world, and ask his female party members to act sexy for him in order to save the day. It's that kind of game.
Hibiki's got a lot to deal with, yet he does it with great aplomb, taking up leadership roles in a government organization specifically created for dealing with the crisis—despite being a civilian. His ability to keep a relatively level head in a bad situation makes the others look to him as a leader, and he finds time to reach out to others even as the world is literally falling apart around him. His friendly demeanor and sense of responsibility causes him to be the pillar for several people to lean on during the crisis. Despite this, he can be surprisingly aggressive at times, and he's prone to saying and doing some truly eccentric things. Even when the world's ending, Hibiki doesn't lose his sense of humor, and he maintains an unique way of lightening the mood that belies how capable he can be.
Sample Entry:
Tell us about yourself in a few words.
Is this what a job interview feels like? Hibiki Kuze, age 18. "High School Student" would be the easiest thing to put here.
I like rabbits, music, taking long walks on the beach, and unintentionally reenacting scenes from a horror movie. My sign is Gemini, my status is single, and my favorite body type is— Sorry, sorry! Didn't mean to make this sound like a dating profile!
Why are you joining our happy community?
I'm joining you? I don't even know where I am!
Do you think you are good in a crisis? Why?
Sure. I've got good decision making skills, I'm able to remain calm in most cases, and I don't mind taking up a leadership position and making tough decisions. Having a sense of humor helps, too.
I'm also good listener. Reaching out to others and making connections is important during a crisis. Understanding each other can clear up misunderstandings and prevent more tragedies from breaking out. After all, we're all human. Except the ones who aren't.
What if the crisis involved the end of the world? Please explain.
I'm practically an expert! I have personal experience with demons, aliens, alien demons, demon aliens, cities being destroyed, planet-consuming voids, riots, the chronically late, volatile redheads...
Maybe I should've prepared a resume. Am I applying to a summer camp or an internship?
Can you swim? Y/N
Yes.
- Could you still do it under extreme distress? Y/N
Yes.
-- While dragging someone else to shore? Y/N
Yes?
--- While something, let’s say a tentacle, tries to drag you under? Y/N
Pervert!
---- How would you handle that situation?
Start clucking like a chicken while impersonating a shark. I'm pretty sure that would never happen in a hentai. Unless it's the really freaky kind.
Do you consider yourself squeamish? Please provide an example.
This question is already making me squeamish.
Do you find these questions increasingly unnerving? Why/Why not?
Yeah. I think I've stumbled onto the set of either a B-movie or an adult film...
If there was a good dog and a criminal both hanging from a cliff and you could only save one, which would you save and why?
I'll save them both. It's true that you sometimes can't save everyone, but without knowing anything else, I think I'd still try. There's almost always a way—you just have to look for it. There isn't actually a dog or a criminal hanging from a cliff, right? With the questions so far, I wouldn't put it past you...
What do you expect from your camp experience?
Awwwww, yeeeeeeeah, summer caaaaaamp! Fishing, playing, making friends, running around, and exploring! Huddling around the campfire at night, and swimming in the lake at day! A summer full of experiences and people that I'll never forget!
But since you asked me all those questions, I get the feeling it won't be that idyllic. The end of the world, tentacles, and things that might make me squeamish, huh...? All right, I'm ready. Let's survive.
Poll #13940 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 23
In or out?
Character: Steve Rogers/Captain America
Series: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Character Age: 92 (appears 26)
Job: Bully Counselor
Canon: Captain America is your proverbial Cinderella story: Steve Rogers, orphaned, scrawny and with an alarmingly long list of medical ailments nonetheless dreams of being a soldier and fighting for his country in the Second World War. Along comes his fairy godmother in the form of Dr. Abraham Erskine, a scientist who has developed the proverbial glass slipper with a serum designed to create a super soldier. A bippity-boppity-boo and a Stark later, and Steve becomes the belle of the ball, the world's first superhero, leading the Allies to victory (and defeating a supervillain while he's at it) with the aid of his feisty sidekicks: a motley group of soldiers called the Howling Commandos, his childhood best friend, Bucky Barnes, and the Prince Charming of the piece, Agent Peggy Carter.
However, the ending isn't happily ever after so much as... ever after. Steve sacrifices himself to save the day, but while the day gets good and saved, he ends up frozen in the arctic for about 70 years. He's defrosted by S.H.I.E.L.D. (the government agency that deals with the kind of threats one would expect in, oh, comic books) and wakes up in the modern world, everyone he once knew either dead or geriatric. S.H.I.E.L.D. eventually recruits him into The Avengers Initiative, conceived of as a group of BAMFs willing to fight the kind of evil only superheroes can fight, and Captain America continues to save the world.
Steve Rogers is a good man. It would be easy to reduce his story to brains versus brawn, but while Steve is intelligent and thoughtful, it's his character that sets him apart. For most of his (conscious) life, he's had a deficit of physical strength, with only the strength of his character to show for himself, so when he finally achieves the former, his character is what informs it. He fights for the bullied, not to be a bully himself. Though he can be stubborn regardless of long-term consequences when it comes to things he wants, or things he believes are right, he's also kind, genuinely modest (save for the spangly outfit) and witty without ever being insincere.
Sample Entry:
Tell us about yourself in a few words.
I can't say anyone's asked me that in a long time. My name is Steve Rogers, and I've got some experience dealing with bullies. The fights that involve aliens from outer space are newer for me, but a bully's a bully. Not that the, uh, characters I've seen around here are bullies, or even aliens, for that matter. Everyone's come here for a reason — I think — and anyone's welcome to help. But I've been around that block and probably been beat up there a few times, so whatever threat any of you are facing, you've got me now.
Why are you joining our happy community?
Well, they tell me it's to help your campers here deal with bullies. I'm happy to help, though if I'm gonna do this job maybe we should talk about what you expect from me. I don't subscribe to the "ignore 'em until they go away" school of thought when a sock in the jaw will get it done, and done better. It's not just about who has the biggest stick, but it sure helps to have one that can deliver a good whack to the guy coming after you.
What do you expect from the campers here?
They shouldn't go looking for a fight for the sake of a fight. But they should know when to stand up for themselves and when they should stand up for other people. And if you're in situation you can't get out of, give the other guys a chance to walk away. It will give them something to think about after you have to lay 'em out.
Do you have any deep personal traumas you might inexplicably be compelled to share in this questionnaire? Please describe.
What, like taking a nap in the tundra for seventy years? Woulda been nice to have a sleeping bag, but there's not a lot more to it than that.
Do you have a five year plan in mind?
Don't get frozen. Hoping I can stick to that one for more than five years, honestly, but I guess we'll see.
Have you committed any crimes you were or should have been convicted from?
...well, I may have falsified some information on my enlistment form. Forms.
Are you lying on your previous answer?
Not this time. I hope it's not gonna be a problem, 'cause now that I know you need some help I think we're gonna be stuck with each other for a while.
Poll #13941 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 19
In or out?
Character: James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes
Series: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
Character Age: in his early 20s
Job: Trauma Counselor
Canon: Once upon a time, there was a sickly man from Brooklyn by the name of Steve Rogers who totally hated bullies and wanted to fight them and stand up for the little guy and other super honorable things like that. With it being the World War II-era, this of course means he would love nothing more than to dive into battle with the Nazis, a feat rendered impossible by his weak physiology. After attracting the attention of Dr. Abraham Erskine, Steve is given a serum that makes him into a super soldier, enabling him to fight in the war. Under the title "Captain America," Steve leads his ragtag comrades, the Howling Commandos, into battle against villains like HYDRA and Red Skull. It's all fun and games until people fall and freeze in the ice!
And then there's Sgt. James Buchanan Barnes -- "Bucky" to his friends. In this iteration, Bucky is Steve's childhood best friend and has always had Steve's back, be it with a swift quip or a left hook to someone's face. A big brother type, Bucky is a snarky sort as well as a shameless flirt. His speech tends to be casual, bordering on rude at times. He is, however, a realist; the war has worn him down to a degree, and he has his moments of reticence, deflecting with a bit of smart humor when need be. It’s been noted that Bucky tends to take on more of the dirty work; he acts as the sniper of the group and picks off targets with ease. Still, Bucky is nothing if not Steve's reliable right hand, always standing at his side even after he becomes Captain America and working with his group, the Howling Commandos. His loyalty to his friends remains strong, even after the world has beaten him down. Just don't mind him if he complains the entire time.
Sample Entry:
Tell us about yourself in a few words.
Tell you all about me, huh? Well, why don't you tell me something about yourself or your boss first? I've heard a few things about the dame that runs this place. Sayre, right? That's a sad story there, with her and the dead fiance and all that. Believe me, I'm all for the whole "eye for an eye" retribution thing, but I can't see how kidnapping a bunch of kids is going to help her sleep at night. Y'know what could help her sleep at night? Moving on with someone like, say-- me. I'm James Buchanan Barnes. That’s "Bucky" to my friends and Sergeant Barnes to you. Pass this on to her later, will ya?
Why are you joining our happy community?
Y'know, it’s funny -- I was about to ask you the same thing, 'cause I can't say it was my idea. Anyway, I was given a letter when I got here saying something about trauma counseling, and I'm thinking you might have the wrong guy on this one. If it’s steering a bunch of dumb kids onto the right path, well, that's a different story right there. Some of 'em just need a nudge or a gentle push or a swift kick in the shins to shape up, y'know what I mean? Now, if that's what you want, we could be here all night because I practically wrote the book on this subject with a buddy of mine.
Trauma counseling, though? That's a whole other beast. Yeah, sure, I've been in the war and I know some great coping methods, but I don't really think those are all that age appropriate if you get what I'm saying. Heh.
Do you think you are good in a crisis? Why?
Sergeant Barnes, remember? I was a sniper so yeah, I'd say I've seen my share of crises through my scope before. I'm not about to run down my resume of doom and gloom with you fellows, but I’ve definitely dealt with some serious bullshit tailing HYDRA over in Europe. And let me tell you, those guys? They know how to cause a crisis. Your little zombie infestation here or whatever it's supposed to be can’t even hold a candle to that.
What if the crisis involved the end of the world? Please explain.
-- whoa, whoa, wait. When did the end of the world come into play here? I'm getting a sense of deja vu. Weren't you all supposed to be Canadian or something?
Do you consider yourself squeamish? Please provide an example.
... and here I thought this was a children's summer camp. My mistake.
Do you find these questions increasingly unnerving? Why/Why not?
Yes, because I apparently have a degree of sanity which, by the way, would be news to some people.
Can you perform a flawless headshot?
Finally. It's about time you asked me something relevant! And I can tell you right now, that won't be a problem. I am, in fact, the best damn shot you've seen in quite some time. Like I said before -- sniper. Look, if you folks want a practical demonstration, just give me a pack of kids and rifles to arm 'em with, and we’ll put a dent in your zombie population in no time. Think of it as ... pest control. And hey, it’s an excellent way of blowing off some steam which, by the way, is great for working through trauma. Huh, guess I’ve got a knack for this counseling stuff after all!
Poll #13942 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 23
In or out?
Character: Tony Stark
Series: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Character Age: 42 (being apped post The Avengers)
Job: "Consultant"
Canon: MCU is a world much like ours, with the difference that sometimes superheroes happen, either due to terrible scientific accidents or because gods drop by from Asgard or, in Tony Stark’s case, because he was kidnapped and kept in a cave until he built a missile. He didn't, instead he built himself a suit of armor and became Iron Man. As Iron Man, he’s not exactly a traditional superhero, he doesn’t bother with secret identities, doesn't do sidekicks and doesn't shy away from the spotlight. He's full of himself, sarcastic and a bit of a pain to deal with.
Tony is a genius, having graduated from MIT at 17 and taken over his father’s company at 21 there is absolutely nothing material he needs. After the events of Iron Man, he grows more conscious of what his company is doing and turns it around, turning its focus into clean energy and no longer providing the military with weapons. He cares, but he doesn't care selflessly, he's selfish, egocentric, snarky and still a pretty damn good hero regardless. He's also in a very stable relationship with his former assistant Pepper Potts, a badass lady capable of getting Tony to do things he doesn’t want to do. [SPOILERS FOR IM3] After the events in The Avengers, Tony develops PTSD, which manifests itself through insomnia and mild anxiety attacks whenever he’s reminded of New York.[/SPOILERS]
Sample Entry:
Tell us about yourself in a few words.
Please, you know exactly who I am.
Why are you joining our happy community?
Community service. Give back to the people... and. Okay, I have no idea, I'm sure someone tried to hand me something explaining, but I don't like being handed things. It's a problem, I know, I'm working on it.
So, what am I doing here?
What do you expect from your camp experience?
Camp experience? This is a camp?
How did you get me here again?
What is your job here at CFUD? What do you think that means?
And I have a job, lovely. Gainful employment is... nowhere on my list of favorite things, but it is above not-gainful employment. What was it? Someone said "consultant" at some point. Kind of vague as far as job descriptions go. Did I sign anything? See, I don't think I did because someone would've had to hand me something to sign and like I said, I don't like being handed things.
And even if I had signed something, I’m sure it’s not a legally binding document. And even if it were, I’ve got an excellent law team, and even if I didn’t, I think I might be able to pay damages or whatever it is this surely-illegal-contract specifies. So, back to the question. I don’t have a job here.
Do you think you are good in a crisis? Why?
That's funny, really. Hilarious. Am I good in a crisis. You should get yourself on TV, 'I asked Tony Stark if he's good in a crisis.' Instant success.
What if the crisis involved the end of the world? Please explain.
And it keeps getting better. Are you serious? Huh, this place does look pretty remote. I guess you could have missed the whole shebang. So I'll explain just this once, the world was in danger and it was saved already. You're welcome, by the way.
Do you consider yourself squeamish? Please provide an example.
Yes. I have Pepper kill the spiders in the bathroom.
Seriously, what is this?
Would you be able to dispose of the flesh of the undead? How?
Okay, look. This was cute at first but we have to draw a line somewhere and that line's on 'flesh of the undead’ I’m as much of a horror movie fan as the next guy, but this joke’s been drawn out for more than long enough.
Do you find these questions increasingly unnerving? Why/Why not?
Yes, yes I do find these questions increasingly unnerving. I don’t see my car and I don't see my people and you just brought up zombies. I would've laughed a few months back, really, zombies, haha. Because we both know that zombies don’t exist. But you know what? Aliens didn’t exist either, and look at how that turned out.
Do you have any deep personal traumas you might inexplicably be compelled to share in this questionnaire? Please describe.
No. We're done, I'm out of here. And you are not getting any autographs, I don't like you.
Poll #13943 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 23
In or out?
no subject
All In for everyone else!