Ben Tennyson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bentherewonthat) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
campfuckuvote2013-08-24 12:21 am
bentherewonthat) wrote in campfuckuvote2013-08-24 12:21 am
(no subject)
Whoooo loves orange soda?
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
NowVOTE. okie doke.
Character: Mac
Series: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Character Age: 35
Job: Karateguard.
Canon: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is about running a bar in the same way that Breaking Bad is about teaching high school chemistry. The series follows a group of friends (in that they're the only ones who can stand each other) and their wacky adventures in completely destroying the lives of everyone around them. But mostly their own. Mac is the group's resident badass. At least, that's what he'd tell you, loudly and enthusiastically, at every possible opportunity, while flexing his glamor muscles in sleeveless shirts and bragging about his martial arts prowess.
But although he keeps giving himself titles like bodyguard, bouncer, and sheriff of Paddy's Pub, he can barely hold his own in a fight, and has never taken a single karate class in his life. Mostly, he's just desperate for approval. Mac is fairly naive and generally well-meaning (until he loses his temper, or decides he wants revenge on someone, or gets bored and betrays one of his friends), but his Irish Catholic upbringing combined with a tenuous grasp on reality means he has some idiosyncratic views on personal morals (theft, arson, and faking your own death are okay, but abortion and same-sex marriage are right out). Which is also probably why he hasn't realized that he's extremely gay. He's just admiring dudes' physiques. Now everyone get over here and watch him execute this sweet kick-flip.
Tell us about yourself in a few words.
Oh, sure. My name's Mac. You got the videos I sent you, right? Because, to be honest, I think those say a whole lot more than words ever could. There's more if you liked them! With, like, pyrotechnics. And there's one where I totally punch through a wall.
Why are you joining our happy community?
Well, what I'm really looking for is a position where I can showcase my incredible feats of athleticism and general badassery while also providing a valuable service to the community. This is a community, isn't it? I don't actually... I mean, there's a lot of trees and mountains and stuff, but...
Uh, anyway, it's that. The aforementioned badassery.
Oh, and the money. Definitely the money. You did say there would be money, right? It doesn't have to be a lot, just, you know, whatever. Anything. Seriously.
Why are you a valuable asset to this camp?
Well, I don't like to brag, but I did mention that I'm kind of a badass, right? I'm pretty sure I said that. And if I didn't, I'm saying it now.
Do you think you are good in a crisis? Why?
See, I'm pretty much an expert at tactical threat assessment, so the thing is, I just never let situations escalate into crisis mode in the first place. That's a good answer, right?
What if the crisis involved the end of the world? Please explain.
Okay, dude, are we talking like, global warming? Because that's definitely 100% made up. Seriously. But if it's a zombie apocalypse, or some kind of robot uprising — like a Skynet situation? I'm all about that! I've been training and everything. The thing is, you've really gotta be specific with this kind of stuff so I can assess the situation and react with the appropriate level of force.
Oh, but if we get to pick, I'm totally picking Thunderdome!
Can you perform a flawless headshot? If not, and if your life depended on it, how many hours a week would you be willing to spend on the shooting range?
Well, yeah, obviously. I perform most things flawlessly. Wait, I don't have to demonstrate that, right? Like, not right now?
I just— I mean, look, the thing is, I kinda hurt my elbow on the way over here. Saving a hot chick. From a gang. Two gangs. In a gang war. But it's cool! It's cool, it's cool, I totally kicked their asses, but I had to leap immediately into action and I didn't get to stretch first, you know? Warm-ups… So, uh, you can just take my word for it, right?
What is your job here at CFUD? What do you think that means?
Oh, well, I'm basically hoping it's like being Steven Seagal, but like, all the time.
Character: Charlie Kelly
Series: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Character Age: 36
Job: Head of sanitation management and animal control.
Canon: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia follows the poor life choices of four people in their mid-thirties (and one 60-something guy who raised two of them but might or might not be his ex-husband's biological father). Their lives are all one big example of what not to do, from identity fraud, breaking and entering, sweatshop operation, extortion, kidnapping, and drug addiction, to owning and operating a bar in south Philly and just being generally awful people who ruin the lives of everyone around them while suffering no actual consequences for their own actions.
Charlie Kelly, the janitor and co-owner of aforementioned bar, is arguably the closest thing the gang has to a decent human being, but he's still kind of a histrionic little asshole. His hobbies include things like huffing glue and eating cat food, and he's pretty much completely illiterate. But at least he's enthusiastic, in a childishly insane rambling lunatic sort of way. He's also an expert at "Charlie Work", which means handling any disgusting janitorial tasks, from scrubbing particularly hard-to-clean urinals to slaughtering generations upon generations of rats, all of which he's developed a number of alarmingly effective systems for.
Tell us about yourself in a few words.
My name's Charlie.
Why are you joining our happy community?
Court-ordered community service. Again. Look, I may or may not have allegedly quote unquote broken into an apartment that may or may not but really actually did not at all have any legal or illegal species of bird or bird eggs. I needed to make sure they were up to code. But apparently that's "against the law", or something. Like I don't know the law when it comes to birds. I'm an expert in bird law!
Anyway, there was a lot of talk about a previous record, but I wasn't really listening. All I know is, you would not believe how much paint thinner I had to huff to stay passed out for the whole trip here.
Would you be able to dispose of the flesh of the undead? How?
Well, that depends. Are we talking, like, vampires, zombies, or werewolves? Wait, shit, are werewolves undead? They are, right?
If it's zombies, it's easy. First, you soak the meat in liquid. Flammable chemicals work, but milk is okay in a pinch. You have to leave it for like two days, preferably out in the sun. If you're really in a hurry, you can put it in the oven for a couple hours, but there's really no guarantee that'll destroy it. Plus you have to get a new oven after, and that's just a mess. After you soak and and cook it, you throw it in the dumpster behind the bar.
Vampires, pretty sure you have to soak those too, but it's a little different. For vampire flesh, you're gonna want to collect a lot of cat pee. Like, a lot. We're talking like a whole week of leaving a barrel under the fire escape at night a lot. But then you only have to soak it for like ten minutes and it's good. Then you light it on fire and throw it in the dumpster behind the bar.
Werewolves, though, just don't even mess with them. Seriously, don't. Werewolves are some bad stuff, and you need like, voodoo. Like a whole voodoo ceremony. It's just not worth it.
Can you swim?
In a pool or a sewer? Sure. Probably the ocean too, I don't even know, man, that thing is just huge.
- Could you still do it under extreme distress?
You don't know what distress is until you hear the oncoming roar of sewer water headed right your way and you haven't finished getting your pants off yet.
-- While dragging someone else to shore?
Maybe, but I probably wouldn't. You shouldn't be playing in the sewer if you can't get out on your own, that's practically the law.
--- While something, let’s say a tentacle, tries to drag you under?
Is it a little tentacle or a big one? Come on, dude, these questions aren't anywhere near specific enough.
---- How would you handle that situation?
How am I supposed to handle any situation if you won't even tell me how big the tentacles are? That is key information and you're just leaving it out!
What would you consider to be your “soul” animal and why? (this is for purely scientific purposes and will not have consequences during your stay at all. Trust us! :))
I think maybe some sort of half-cat half-eagle half-man animal. Maybe a cat eagle centaur man. A junkyard cat eagle centaur man. And part worm, too, yeah! And I'd breathe fire, obviously. Ooh, no, or maybe I could breathe lava.
What is your job here at CFUD? What do you think that means?
Pretty sure it means I have to kill more rats, right? It's always about killing rats, and watching their babies look up at you with bleak, soulless eyes as you snuff the life out of them
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now
Character: Mac
Series: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Character Age: 35
Job: Karateguard.
Canon: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is about running a bar in the same way that Breaking Bad is about teaching high school chemistry. The series follows a group of friends (in that they're the only ones who can stand each other) and their wacky adventures in completely destroying the lives of everyone around them. But mostly their own. Mac is the group's resident badass. At least, that's what he'd tell you, loudly and enthusiastically, at every possible opportunity, while flexing his glamor muscles in sleeveless shirts and bragging about his martial arts prowess.
But although he keeps giving himself titles like bodyguard, bouncer, and sheriff of Paddy's Pub, he can barely hold his own in a fight, and has never taken a single karate class in his life. Mostly, he's just desperate for approval. Mac is fairly naive and generally well-meaning (until he loses his temper, or decides he wants revenge on someone, or gets bored and betrays one of his friends), but his Irish Catholic upbringing combined with a tenuous grasp on reality means he has some idiosyncratic views on personal morals (theft, arson, and faking your own death are okay, but abortion and same-sex marriage are right out). Which is also probably why he hasn't realized that he's extremely gay. He's just admiring dudes' physiques. Now everyone get over here and watch him execute this sweet kick-flip.
Tell us about yourself in a few words.
Oh, sure. My name's Mac. You got the videos I sent you, right? Because, to be honest, I think those say a whole lot more than words ever could. There's more if you liked them! With, like, pyrotechnics. And there's one where I totally punch through a wall.
Why are you joining our happy community?
Well, what I'm really looking for is a position where I can showcase my incredible feats of athleticism and general badassery while also providing a valuable service to the community. This is a community, isn't it? I don't actually... I mean, there's a lot of trees and mountains and stuff, but...
Uh, anyway, it's that. The aforementioned badassery.
Oh, and the money. Definitely the money. You did say there would be money, right? It doesn't have to be a lot, just, you know, whatever. Anything. Seriously.
Why are you a valuable asset to this camp?
Well, I don't like to brag, but I did mention that I'm kind of a badass, right? I'm pretty sure I said that. And if I didn't, I'm saying it now.
Do you think you are good in a crisis? Why?
See, I'm pretty much an expert at tactical threat assessment, so the thing is, I just never let situations escalate into crisis mode in the first place. That's a good answer, right?
What if the crisis involved the end of the world? Please explain.
Okay, dude, are we talking like, global warming? Because that's definitely 100% made up. Seriously. But if it's a zombie apocalypse, or some kind of robot uprising — like a Skynet situation? I'm all about that! I've been training and everything. The thing is, you've really gotta be specific with this kind of stuff so I can assess the situation and react with the appropriate level of force.
Oh, but if we get to pick, I'm totally picking Thunderdome!
Can you perform a flawless headshot? If not, and if your life depended on it, how many hours a week would you be willing to spend on the shooting range?
Well, yeah, obviously. I perform most things flawlessly. Wait, I don't have to demonstrate that, right? Like, not right now?
I just— I mean, look, the thing is, I kinda hurt my elbow on the way over here. Saving a hot chick. From a gang. Two gangs. In a gang war. But it's cool! It's cool, it's cool, I totally kicked their asses, but I had to leap immediately into action and I didn't get to stretch first, you know? Warm-ups… So, uh, you can just take my word for it, right?
What is your job here at CFUD? What do you think that means?
Oh, well, I'm basically hoping it's like being Steven Seagal, but like, all the time.
Poll #14109 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 21
In or out?
Character: Charlie Kelly
Series: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Character Age: 36
Job: Head of sanitation management and animal control.
Canon: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia follows the poor life choices of four people in their mid-thirties (and one 60-something guy who raised two of them but might or might not be his ex-husband's biological father). Their lives are all one big example of what not to do, from identity fraud, breaking and entering, sweatshop operation, extortion, kidnapping, and drug addiction, to owning and operating a bar in south Philly and just being generally awful people who ruin the lives of everyone around them while suffering no actual consequences for their own actions.
Charlie Kelly, the janitor and co-owner of aforementioned bar, is arguably the closest thing the gang has to a decent human being, but he's still kind of a histrionic little asshole. His hobbies include things like huffing glue and eating cat food, and he's pretty much completely illiterate. But at least he's enthusiastic, in a childishly insane rambling lunatic sort of way. He's also an expert at "Charlie Work", which means handling any disgusting janitorial tasks, from scrubbing particularly hard-to-clean urinals to slaughtering generations upon generations of rats, all of which he's developed a number of alarmingly effective systems for.
Tell us about yourself in a few words.
My name's Charlie.
Why are you joining our happy community?
Court-ordered community service. Again. Look, I may or may not have allegedly quote unquote broken into an apartment that may or may not but really actually did not at all have any legal or illegal species of bird or bird eggs. I needed to make sure they were up to code. But apparently that's "against the law", or something. Like I don't know the law when it comes to birds. I'm an expert in bird law!
Anyway, there was a lot of talk about a previous record, but I wasn't really listening. All I know is, you would not believe how much paint thinner I had to huff to stay passed out for the whole trip here.
Would you be able to dispose of the flesh of the undead? How?
Well, that depends. Are we talking, like, vampires, zombies, or werewolves? Wait, shit, are werewolves undead? They are, right?
If it's zombies, it's easy. First, you soak the meat in liquid. Flammable chemicals work, but milk is okay in a pinch. You have to leave it for like two days, preferably out in the sun. If you're really in a hurry, you can put it in the oven for a couple hours, but there's really no guarantee that'll destroy it. Plus you have to get a new oven after, and that's just a mess. After you soak and and cook it, you throw it in the dumpster behind the bar.
Vampires, pretty sure you have to soak those too, but it's a little different. For vampire flesh, you're gonna want to collect a lot of cat pee. Like, a lot. We're talking like a whole week of leaving a barrel under the fire escape at night a lot. But then you only have to soak it for like ten minutes and it's good. Then you light it on fire and throw it in the dumpster behind the bar.
Werewolves, though, just don't even mess with them. Seriously, don't. Werewolves are some bad stuff, and you need like, voodoo. Like a whole voodoo ceremony. It's just not worth it.
Can you swim?
In a pool or a sewer? Sure. Probably the ocean too, I don't even know, man, that thing is just huge.
- Could you still do it under extreme distress?
You don't know what distress is until you hear the oncoming roar of sewer water headed right your way and you haven't finished getting your pants off yet.
-- While dragging someone else to shore?
Maybe, but I probably wouldn't. You shouldn't be playing in the sewer if you can't get out on your own, that's practically the law.
--- While something, let’s say a tentacle, tries to drag you under?
Is it a little tentacle or a big one? Come on, dude, these questions aren't anywhere near specific enough.
---- How would you handle that situation?
How am I supposed to handle any situation if you won't even tell me how big the tentacles are? That is key information and you're just leaving it out!
What would you consider to be your “soul” animal and why? (this is for purely scientific purposes and will not have consequences during your stay at all. Trust us! :))
I think maybe some sort of half-cat half-eagle half-man animal. Maybe a cat eagle centaur man. A junkyard cat eagle centaur man. And part worm, too, yeah! And I'd breathe fire, obviously. Ooh, no, or maybe I could breathe lava.
What is your job here at CFUD? What do you think that means?
Pretty sure it means I have to kill more rats, right? It's always about killing rats, and watching their babies look up at you with bleak, soulless eyes as you snuff the life out of them
Poll #14110 Vote!
Open to: Access List, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 21
In or out?
"The Gang Gets Voted In"